December 30, 2003

Fridays Musings - New Years Orange Alert!

It is my duty to call your attention to the following:

Office conduct during the Christmas-New Years Season

Effective immediately, employees should keep in mind the following guidelines in compliance with FROLIC (the Federal Revelry Office and Leisure Industry Council).

1. Running aluminum foil through the paper shredder to make tinsel is discouraged.

2. Playing Jingle Bells on the push-button phone is forbidden. (It runs up an incredible long distance bill.)

3. Work requests are not to be filed under "Bah humbug."

4. Company cars are not to be used to go over the river and through the woods to Grandma's house.

5. All fruitcake is to be eaten BEFORE July 25.

6. Egg nog will NOT be dispensed in vending machines.

In spite of all this, the staff is encouraged to have a Happy Holiday.

Never date a woman whose father calls her "Princess". Chances are she believes it.

Even if you are on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there.

Why is it that when someone tells you that there are over a billion stars in the universe, you believe them, but if they tell you there is wet paint somewhere, you have to touch it to make sure?

Your humble correspondent, Al.  Embedded with he Great Unwashed in Absurdistan

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