March 19, 2004

On the first day of school, the kindergarten teacher told the children if they had to go to the bathroom to hold up two fingers.   A little voice from the back of the room asked, "How will that help?"

If you really want something in this life, you have to work for it.    Now be quiet, they are about to announce the lottery numbers!

The metric system did not really catch on in the States, unless you count the increasing popularity of the nine-millimeter bullet.

In elementary school, in case of fire you have to line up quietly in a single file line from the smallest to tallest.    What is the logic?    Do tall people burn slower?

This is National Spring Fever Week. (And it's about d***ed time too!)

Monday is International Day of the Seal! People of discernment will understand - I don't have a clue!

Tuesday is Near Miss Day! (Be careful)

The March madness has started. I feel it is my job to point out that Maryland (my own little part of Absurdistan) is on the road to victory - Fear the Turtle!

In case you missed this issue of the Wall Street Journal, a very important merger took place, apparently without Congressional approval - Hale Business Systems, Mary Kay Cosmetics, Fuller Brush and W.R. Grace Co. will merge and become: Hale, Mary, Fuller, Grace.

I'd better quit now, I've already told you more than I know!

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