May 14, 2004
According to the local news, you can forget global warming, nuclear winter and other fun things. The cicadas are here! Hide the children and small animals and get out your Bibles! The end is in sight!
AP and UPI report that the French Government announced today
that in light of the Madrid bombing, France has raised its terror alert level
from "run" to "hide." The only two higher levels in France are "surrender"
Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves for they shall never cease to be amused.
An applicant for a job with the federal government was filling out the application form. He came to this question: "Do you favor the overthrow of the United States government by force, subversion, or violence?" Thinking it was a multiple-choice question, he checked "violence.
I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places.
This is National Pickle Week!
The 18th is Visit Your Relatives Day
The 21st is I Need A Patch For That Day
The 23rd is World Turtle Day - take your turtle out for lunch!
Suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself.
Your indentured correspondent embedded in the heart of Brood-X of the dreaded cicada!
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