July 16, 2004

Fridays Musings

Last week, I forgot to mention that I was told that sunrise was at 4:15am on Nantucket.  Of course, I only have their word for that...........

A word to the wise.... The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans. The French eat a lot of fat and also suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans. The Japanese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans. The Italians drink excessive amounts of red wine and also suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans. CONCLUSION: Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills you.

Someone smashed a hole in the fence at the local nudist camp. As a responsible citizen, I plan to look into it.

Why are there phone bills in a country with free speech?
I have a photographic memory, but I seem to be out of film film.

Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is a husband!

The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.

Important days this month!

July 20 National Ice Cream Day

July 22 Health & Happiness with Hypnosis Day

July 22 Rat-catchers Day

July 23 Hot Enough For Ya Day

July 24 Virtual Love Day

Actual Headlines...........

Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers

BE SURE TO TELL YOUR KIDS: "Slimy Leeches Are Devoted Parents" -- Reuters headline

Iraqi Head Seeks Arms

"There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home." - Ken Olson, president, chairman, and founder of Digital Equipment Corp., 1977

Those of us residing in Absurdia, the recognized capital of Absurdistan would agree with that.............

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