July 23, 2004


I seem to be the only person in Absurdistan that does not have a cell phone. So, I just clip my garage door opener on my belt and no one knows........


I can always spot a well-informed man -- his views are the same as mine.

There is nothing more frightful than ignorance in action.

Some people are like Slinkies... not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs.

The Beatles lied. You can buy love.

When your wife/girlfriend asks, "Do I look fat"? The correct response is, "Do I look stupid?"


Actual Headlines:

CRIME WAVE: "Cow in Police Custody Linked to Headless Chicken Case" -- Lansing (Mich.) State Journal headline

"Juvenile Court To Try Shooting Defendant".

"Quarter of a Million Chinese Live on Water"

"Farmer Bill Dies in House"

"Two Sisters Reunited after 18 Years in Checkout Counter"


This is National Salad Week!

July 25 is Rat-catchers Day:

July 26 is Hot Enough For Ya Day:

July 27 is Virtual Love Day:

July 28 is Take Your Houseplant For A Walk Day:

July 29 is National Drive-Thru Day:

July 30 is Mutt's Day:


An observation from Absurdia (Capital of Absurdistan) If I go into a grocery store and stuff a couple of cans of corn down my pants, I know I'm going to jail if I get caught. Sandy Berger, former National Security Advisor for the Clinton Administration was caught stuffing our nations secret papers down his pants, five times according to his shyster. He is still free. Don't you think that Sandy had to make "Hillary's Choice?" Either risk his reputation and freedom or visit Fort Marcy Park.....


Your humble correspondent, Al Welch. Embedded with The Great Unwashed in Absurdistan


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