August 13, 2004

Fridays Musings

Those "experts" at the 9/11 commission have insisted that we have an Intelligence Czar.   Yeah, that will work!   Look how well the Drug Czar idea worked!

And speaking of life in Absurdistan - Major League Baseball's relocation committee is reportedly close to moving the hapless Montreal Expos to Washington, D.C.   The committee noted that large groups of really inept and overpaid men usually feel most comfortable working somewhere near the Congress.

I am engaged in a major custody battle. My wife doesn't want me and my mother won't take me back either.

Marriage means commitment. Of course, so does insanity.

The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think

USA Today warned U.S. athletes Tuesday not to wave U.S. flags at the Olympics in Athens. The world is gunning for us. During the games the U.S. team should wear the Nike swoosh instead of the American flag so everyone will think they're from Vietnam.

If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the OTHERS here for?

Actual Headlines:

ROAD RAGE: "German Driver Beaten for Observing Speed Limit" -- Reuters headline

Prostitutes Appeal to Pope

Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over

This is Weird Contest Week: - Time to exhibit your specialty!

Aug 16 is Sandcastle & Sculpture Day - Hope you are at the beach!

Aug 16 is also Vinegar Day:

Aug 17 is Watermelon Day

Aug 18 is Bad Poetry Day - (A National day of rejoicing for Poet Dan!)

Aug 18 is also Stay Home With Your Kids Day:

Aug 19 is National Forgiveness Day - Don't forget ME!

Aug 21 is Be An Angel Day - You may want to point this out to your kids!

Thirty years ago this week, Tricky Dick Nixon, the man with the "secret plan" to end the war was forced to resign from office. Also this week, the Frenchurian Candidate announced he has a "secret plan" to end the war in Iraq. Will we EVER learn?

And, speaking of Nixon, more of the tapes from his office were published this week and he is now recognized as the "Father of Rap Music."

Your humble correspondent, Al Welch. Embedded with The Great Unwashed in Absurdia, the capital of Absurdistan

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