August 27, 2004

Fridays Musings

Social engineering goes on unabated here in Absurdistan....... 40 years after the book "Why Johnny Can't Read" we have a solution. Some teachers are no longer marking test and homework with red pencils. Seems that red is "aggressive!" Johnny still can't read but now he will no longer be angry at the education establishment.

Warning: Dates in Calendar are closer than they appear.

Remember when smoking was healthy? No warning on the side of the pack!

How is it that we put a man on the moon before we figured out that wheels on luggage would be a good idea?

Many men don't understand the true value of a woman's love....... until they start paying alimony.

It's too bad ignorance isn't painful.

Aug 26 is Women's Equality Day

Aug 28 is Race Your Mouse Around The Icons Day

Aug 29 is More Herbs, Less Salt Day: (on popcorn?

Aug 29 is Banana Split Day - invented in Pittsburgh PA in 1904

Aug 39 is Love Litigating Lawyers Day:

Sept 2 is Another Look Unlimited Day:

Sept 2 is Bison-Ten-Yell (Bicentennial?) Day:

Sept 3 is Do It! Day:

Actual Headlines:

METHAMPHETAMINES, OR METHANE? "Man Charged with Meth Manufacture after Pants Explode" -- AP headline

THERE'S A CLOUD IN EVERY SILVER LINING: "Downside to Fewer Violent Deaths: Transplant Organ Shortage Grows" -- New York Times headline

Also here in Absurdia, the capital city of Absurdistan, I've been on so many blind dates, I should get a free dog!

I'd better quit now, I've already told you more than I know! If you enjoy this newsletter just half as much as we enjoy doing it, then we've enjoyed it twice as much as you. - Al AnonyMouse

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