September 03, 2004
And so it happens: You wake up one morning and realize that
not everything comes to pass. You receive a letter from the Olympic Committee,
stating that Solitaire will never be a sanctioned event -- despite the countless hours you've spent in front of your computer screen practicing
In California, there's a 6-month waiting period for filing for
divorce, but only a 15-day waiting period for buying a handgun. It's nice to
know the government is giving us suggestions on how to work out our problems.
You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me.
How is it that we put a man on the moon before we figured out that wheels on luggage would be a good idea?
It's too bad ignorance isn't painful.
UNFORTUNATELY, THEY'RE ONLY AVAILABLE IN A SIX PACK: "Costco Begins Test Marketing Caskets" -- AP headline
Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges
Man Struck By Lightning Faces Battery Charge
This is "Biscuits and Gravy Week:" You northerners are going
to have to imagine.................
Sept. 5 is Be Late For Something Day
Sept. 6 is Fight Procrastination Day - or is it next week?
Neither Snow Nor Rain Day
Sept. 8 is National Nut Bread Day and Pardon Day
Sept. 9 is Teddy Bear Day
Sept. 9 is Wonderful Weirdoes Day: Rejoice!
Sept. 10 is Sew Be It! Day
Sept. 10 is No News Is Good News Day
Sept. 11 - truly a day that will live in infamy!
Please Note: No trees were destroyed in the sending of this contaminant free message. We do concede however, that a significant number of electrons may have been slightly inconvenienced.
From "Gud ole Al" trudging away towards downtown Absurdia, capital of Absurdistan
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