September 24, 2004

Fridays Musings

Big newz!  Our country, Absurdistan, has a new motto!  The motto is "Diversity is our strength, just like Yugoslavia!"   No, wait! Yugoslavia doesn't exist any more!   OK!   "Diversity is our strength, just like the USSR!"   Oops, the USSR doesn't exist any more either.   "Diversity is our strength, just like the Sudan!"   That country still exists - while the Islamists kill off all the natives.

What if there were no hypothetical questions?

Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read

Stressed spelled backward is desserts.

I am going to become an astronaut because I was told I was of no earthly good.

Did you know that 66 percent of Americans can't do basic math? That's almost half!

Actual Headlines!

Crack Found on Governor's Daughter [imagine that!]

Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says

Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers

Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over [ what a guy!]

September is Shameless Promotion Month!

This is Build A Better Image Week: [of course that only applies to SOME of you!] [not me!]

This is National Farm Animals Awareness Week:

This is Tolkien Week:

Sept 25 is National One-Hit Wonder Day:

Sept is National Good Neighbor Day and National Pancake Day [should I invite my neighbor in for breakfast?]

Sept 27 is Crush A Can Day

Sept 28 is Ask A Stupid Question Day [why did they pick this day?]

Sept 30 is . . . . National Mud Pack Day

If you enjoy this newsletter just half as much as we enjoy doing it, then we've enjoyed it twice as much as you.

Poor Al - sitting here in Absurdia, the capital of Absurdistan, trying to be diverse..........................

Please Note: No trees were destroyed in the sending of this contaminant free message. We do concede however, that a significant number of electrons may have been slightly inconvenienced.

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