October 08, 2004

Fridays Musings

Do you know what's interesting about this whole Martha Stewart case?  People think she was convicted for insider trading, but she was only convicted for lying to prosecutors.  Her prison term is for giving false information and covering it up.  And today Dan Rather said, 'You can go to jail for that?

Daddy, do all fairy tales begin with the words, "Once upon a time?" the little girl asked. "No," he replied. "A whole lot of them begin with the words "If elected, I promise."

If it weren't for the fact that the TV and the refrigerator are so far apart, I wouldn't get any exercise at all.

And on that note - Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour.

Visa is everywhere you want to be, except out of debt.

Watch out for people who act weird. They may not be acting.

Why not have your cake and eat it too - it's cake, what else are you going to do with it

Actual Headlines

"Bald Men's Club Offers Chance to Let Hair Down" -- Reuters headline. [NOW THAT'S JUST PLAIN MEAN]

"If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile" [you think?!]

" Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures" [who would have thought!]

Very important National Holidays!

October 11 is . . . . It's My Party Day -[ Party on folks!]

October 12 is . . . . International Moment Of Frustration Scream Day [So how is this different than every other day?]

October 13 is . . . . National Peanut Festival [Jimmy Carter's birthday?]

October 14 is . . . . Be Bald and Free Day and National Dessert Day [How could I comment on this juxtaposition?]

October 16 is . . . . Dictionary Day

October 17 is . . . . Gaudy Day [Tain't "business casual" folks]

If you enjoy this newsletter just half as much as we enjoy doing it, then we've enjoyed it twice as much as you.

Your humble correspondent, Al Welch, embedded with The Great Unwashed in Absurdia, the capital of Absurdistan

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