October 15, 2004
A bear walks into a bar and says, "I'll have a gin ------------------------------------- and tonic." The bartender says, "What's with the big pause?" The bear says "I don't know, my father had them, too.
As I'm sure you know, Martha Stewart is off the streets and
millions of housewives feel safer.
Some mistakes are too much fun to only make once.
To err is human, to forgive - highly unlikely
When you're over 50 you can still do all the things you did when you were 17 ... that's if you don't mind making a complete ass of yourself."
"Taco Bell Worker Helps Foil Burger King Robbery" -- Houston Chronicle headline [Was her name Wendy?]
Enfield (London) Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide [they may be on to something here!]
Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges [you mean there's something stronger than duct tape?!]
This is Auto Battery Safety Month! [Take your battery with you
to keep it safe]
It is also National Toilet Tank Repair Month
October 18 is Sweetest Day: (of what?)
October 19 is Evaluate Your Life Day: (Oh! My gosh!)
October 19 is Reptile Awareness Day:
October 20 is Miss American Rose Day:
October 22 is National Color Day: 22
October 23 is National Day of Concern About Young People & Violence Day:
October 23 is National Mole Day: (Take your local mole to lunch)
October 23 is TV Talk Show Host Day: (Yeah, like we needed that!)
State Mottos......... (Bet I can offend someone!)
Alabama: Hell Yes, We Have Electricity
Alaska: 11,623 Eskimos Can't Be Wrong!
Arizona: But It's A Dry Heat
Arkansas: Literacy Ain't Everything
While we folks in Absurdia (the capital of Aburdistan)
can't take personal credit for it - a fellow Absurdistanian - Martha Stewart
went to prison this week for lying about a crime she didn't commit. At last, our
streets are much safer!
Al Welch - your imbedded reporter in Absurdistan
PS My 16 year old grandson Benjamin, is taking a course on the internet. When his mother asked him why he didn't get his work done in time, his answer was " I did get it done in time, I was just too tired to push the 'send' key!"
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