October 22, 2004

Friday's Musings

Good looks catch the eye but a good personality catches the heart; you are blessed with both."  

Don't be flattered, this message was sent to me. I just wanted you to read it.

Let a smile be your umbrella, but plan on getting soaked.

I've become interested in fasting lately - you know - fast food, fast cars, fast women

Some guy hit my fender, and I said to him, "Be fruitful and multiply" Well, maybe it wasn't exactly in those words.

Ever notice that 'What the hell' is always the right decision?"

I was reading a book...'the history of glue'I couldn't put it down

Actual Headlines........

NOW THAT'S LIVING: "[Martha] Stewart's Recipe: Stir for Five Months" -- Portland (Maine) Press Herald headline

Man Struck By Lightning Faces Battery Charge [he probably IS the battery charge!]

New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group [I guess they weren't they fat enough?!]

Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft [That's what he gets for eating those beans!]

November is COOKIE month! (Now, aren't you glad you stuck with this so far?)

October 24 is . . . . National Bologna Day

October 25 is . . . . Punk For A Day Day

October 25 is . . . . Cartoonists Against Crime Day [When is cartoonist for crime day?]

October 25 is . . . . Sourest Day

October 26 is . . . . Mule Day

October 27 is . . . . Cranky Co-workers Day

October 28 is . . . . Plush Animal Lover's Day

October 28 is . . . . National Chocolate Day [AND this is national cookie MONTH!]

October 29 is . . . . Hermit Day

October 30 is . . . . National Candy Corn Day

October 30 is . . . . Create A Great Funeral Day

October 30 is . . . . Haunted Refrigerator Night

I read that here in Absurdist, 77 per cent of all the mentally ill live in poverty. Actually, I'm more intrigued by the 23 per cent who are apparently doing quite well for themselves [and, are they ALL in Congress?]

Your humble correspondent, Al Welch Embedded with The Great Unwashed in Absurdia, the capital city of Absurdistan

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