December 03, 2004

Fridays Musings

Your telephone bill reflects a charge for wiring the schools for the internet.   We are now moving to a wireless internet.   Your great, great grandchildren will still see this charge on their telephone bill.

My dad had it right.....
Anytime you ask the government to do something for you, it is like giving yourself a blood transfusion - you take the blood out of the right arm and put it into the left and spill half of it in between!

The Top 10 Ways to Know When You've Lost Your Mojo...............

Since obesity has been called a disease by the CDC and other Feds, I have called in "fat" three times.

The reason congressmen try so hard to get re-elected is that they would hate to have to make a living under the laws they've passed.

1 in 5 people in the world is Chinese. And there are 5 people in my family, so it must be, that one of
us is Chinese.

Nostalgia isn't what it used to be

Actual Headlines!

Patient At Death's Door - Doctors Pull Him Through

If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last A While

Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures

Defendants Speech Ends in Long Sentences

Sara's Section!

Tolerance Week: [Can you tolerate me?]

Operation Santa Paws Week:

December 6 is National Communicate With Your Kids Day [They will be picking out your "retirement" home]

December 7 is National Pawnbrokers Day [Must be about time to start Christmas Shopping!]

December 8 is Most Boring Celebrities Of The Year Day [Aren't they all?]

December 10 is Nobel Prize Awards Day: [Remember when these meant something?]

December 12 is National Ding-a-Ling Day [Hey Sara!]

December 12 is Recipe Greetings For The Holidays Week

If you enjoy this newsletter just half as much as we enjoy doing it, then we've enjoyed it twice as much as you.

Your humble correspondent, Al Welch, embedded with The Great Unwashed in Absurdia, the capital of Absurdistan.

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