January 21, 2005 10:47 AM

Fridays Musings

A word to the wise - When push comes to shove... somebody's gonna figure out that "push" and "shove" mean the same damn thing. Hmmm......

In a recent survey, 60 percent of respondents said the cities where they live is noisier now than they were five years ago. The other 40 percent didn't hear the question.

A mother may hope that her daughter will get a better husband that she did, but she knows her son will never get as good a wife as his father did.

Single women complain that all good men are married, All married women complain about their lousy husbands. Conclusion: There is no such thing as a good man.

Why is it you can sue McDonalds if you get fat, Marlboro if you get cancer but you can't sue Smirnoff or Budweiser for all the ugly people you slept with?

Sara's Section ...........................

This week is:
National Creative Frugality Week: [Just for the cheap-skates!]

Solo-Preneuring Week: [Think I will try "preneuring this week]

National Handwriting Analysis Week: [You can rejoice that I can type - a little!]

National Take Back Your Time Week: [Why are you wasting your time reading this?]

Jan 22 is Rid The World of Fad Diets and Gimmicks Day

Jan 22 is also Squirrel Appreciation Day: [A squirrel is a rat with a good public relations guy!]

Jan 23 is National Answer Your Cat's Question Day

Jan 23 is also National Blonde Brownie Day

Jan 24 is National Compliment Day: [Don't I look great!!!!!!]

Jan 24 is also National Handwriting Day : [You can rejoice that I can type - a little!]

Jan 25 is Snowplow Mailbox Hockey Day:

Jan 25 is also Women's Healthy Weight Day: [and I ain't touching that one!!!!]

Jan 24 is Eskimo Pie Patent Day [I can get into this celebration!]

Jan 25 is A Room of One's Own Day:

Jan 26 is Bubble Wrap Appreciation Day

Jan 27 is Thomas Crapper Day

Jan 27 is National Speak Up and Succeed Day

Jan 28 is National Kazoo Day, Clash Day, Rattle Snake Round-Up Day [I'm going to be really busy today!]

Actual Headlines...............

HEEEERRRRRE'S JOHNNY! "Police Say Man Sang, Wielded Hatchet During Robbery Attempt" -- Hagerstown (Maryland) Herald-Mail headline. Multi-tasking?

Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft

Kids Make Nutritious Snacks

Pushing back the frontiers of ignorance, here in Absurdia, the capital of Aburdistan.

Allegory Al

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