May 06, 2005

Friday's Musings

Pushing Back the frontiers of ignorance ..........

When my grandparents arrived in this country from Ireland, they were dirty, frightened and penniless. That's the last time we let them vacation by themselves.


Mary's meanderings ......................

Everyone believes In heredity Until their kids act like fools.

Anyone who starts a sentence "With all due respect..."is about to insult you.

Red meat isn't bad for you......fuzzy green meat is bad for you.

Research shows the first five minutes of life can be the most risky. Somehow I think that the last five minutes aren't so hot either.


Sara's Section ...............................

May is Get Caught Reading Month

May 8 is National Day of Thought [about what?]

May 10 is Astronomy Day [Do you have stars in your eyes?]

May 10 is also Jamestown Landing Day [for you history buffs]

May 10 is also National Babysitter's Day

May 10 is also Trust Your Intuition Day [after all, you have to trust someone!]

May 11 is Eat What You Want Day [oh! goodie!]

May 11 is also Ocean Day

May 12 is Limerick Day [make up your own!]

May 14 is National Receptionists Day [Who greets them fist thing in the morning?]


Actual Headlines..................

OH, NOW THAT SUCKS: "Vacuuming Man Shoots Himself" -- St. Cloud (Minn.) Times headline

Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors

Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead


Ever wonder............................

Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?

Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?

Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?


From your embedded reporter trapped in Absurdia, the capital of the People's Republic of Absurdistan


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