May 20, 2005

Friday's Musings

Pushing back the frontiers of ignorance..........

Newsweek lied and people died.   Newsweek magazine has now apologized for publishing a story that said U.S. interrogators at Guantanamo Bay flushed a copy of the Koran down the toilet. It turns out the story is not true. The reporters, of course, will be punished in the usual way -- they'll be given jobs at CBS.


Juan's one liners....................

I have decided to be cremated and my ashes spread over the deepest part of the ocean. My ex said that she is going to dance on my grave................

There is nothing so annoying as arguing with somebody who knows what he is talking about!

Every time I learn something new it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. Like that time I took that home wine making course and forgot how to drive." Homer Simpson

Why do they say you're never too old to learn if you can't teach an old dog new tricks?

One should love animals. They are so tasty.


Sara's Section ............................

National Mental Health Month [just for me?]

May 22 is National Maritime Day:

May 23 is Morning Radio Wise Guy Day:

May 23 is World Turtle Day: [Take a turtle to lunch today!]

May 24 is Brother's Day: [Quit picking on your little brother - at least for today]

May 24 is International Jazz Day: [jazz up your life]

May 25 is Ancestor Honor Day:

May 25 is also Coal Miner Days: [this should be a week, not a day!]

May 26 is National Missing One Shoe Day


Actual Headlines...............................

Drunk Gets Nine Months in Violin Case

Survivor of Siamese Twins Joins Parents

Farmer Bill Dies in House


The latest from beautiful downtown Absurdistan..................

1. Last week, a small airplane, a Cessna that would almost fit in a two car garage caused the Whitehouse, the Capital and the Supreme Court to be evacuated - thus safe guarding the "suits."

2. In the last couple of years, over 4000 (four thousand) of our fellow citizens along the Mexican boarder were killed by illegal immigrants who fled back across the border and cannot be extradited.

3. Explain why some of our politicians (of both parties) want to give drivers licenses, medical care and education to these people and yet protect themselves from small airplanes.

Oh, the irony of it all! (and we actually voted for these people!)


Your hometown reporter, embedded with the over-educated in Absurdia, the capital of Absurdistan - still looking for a national flag..........


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