May 27, 2005

Friday's Musings

Pushing back the frontiers of ignorance..................

The Bible tells us to love our neighbors, and also to love our enemies; probably because generally they are the same people

Juan's one liners............

If life were fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be dead

Practice makes perfect, but if nobody's perfect, why practice?

If you let a smile be your umbrella, then most likely your butt will get soaking wet.

How come "abbreviated" is such a long word?

Money is not everything. There's MasterCard & Visa

Sara's Section ...................

May is More Than Just A Pretty Face Month

May 28 is Slugs Return to Capistrano Day

May 30 is Hug Your Cat Day

May 30 is also Loomis Day

May 31 What You Think Upon Grows Day

June 1 1495 the first record of Scotch Whiskey Day

June 1 1938 the first Superman Comic is Published Day

June 2 1835 the first P T Barnum Circus Tour Day

Actual Headlines...........

ROYALTIES TO BE PAID WITH INVISIBLE MONEY: "Inventor Creates Soundless Sound System" -- AP headline

Reagan Wins on Budget, But More Lies Ahead

Stolen Painting Found By Tree

Killer Sentenced to Die for Second Time in 10 Years

Hey, did you hear about the..............

Upholsterers that couldn't cover their costs?

Tennis ball manufacturer that ended up in court?

Downfall of the bungee suppliers? But I hear they're on their way back up!!!!

Th th th that's all folks!  From your personal reporter, embedded with his fellow inmates in Absurdia, the capital of the Peoples Republic of Absurdistan where no tax is left behind.

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