July 22, 2005

Friday's Musings

Pushing back the frontiers of ignorance...............

I recently got a letter from the police with a picture of my car with a notation that I had exceeded the speed limit in a radar trap and owed them $75. I sent them a picture of four $20 bills. They then sent me a picture of a pair of handcuffs.......


Sara's Section................................................

National July Belongs to Blueberries Month

July 24 is . . . . Amelia Earhart Day [Did they ever find her luggage?]

July 24 is . . . . Virtual Love Day [Do you love your virtual?]

June 24 is . . . . Museum Comes To Life Day [Well, did you ever?]

June 25 is . . . .Log Cabin Day {I'll huff and I'll puff........]

July 25 is . . . . Threading The Needle Day [Been riding with me through the traffic?]

July 26 is . . . . All Or Nothing Day [See the above comment]

July 26 is . . . . All-American Soap Box Derby Day [Are they still having that]

July 27 is . . . . Parents' Day

July 27 is . . . . Take Your Houseplant For A Walk Day [And you thought I made this stuff up!]

July 27 is . . . . Decide To Be Married Day

July 28 is . . . . Take Your Pants For A Walk Day

July 28 is . . . . National Milk Chocolate Day [Oh Yeah!]

July 28 is . . . . Descendants Day

July 28 is . . . . National Drive-Thru Day [Drive through what?]

July 28 is . . . . National Celebrate Your Marriage Day

July 29 is . . . . National Celebrate Your Divorce Day [Coincidence?]

July 29 is . . . . Cheese Sacrifice Purchase Day

July 30 is . . . . National Cheesecake Day


Miki's Meanderings.................

I'm addicted to placebos. I'd give them up, but it wouldn't make any difference.

I always turn to the sports page first. The sports page records people's accomplishments; the front page nothing but man's failure.

The secrets of success are a good wife and a steady job. My wife told me.

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.


Actual Headlines..........................

CAUSE AND EFFECT? "U.S. Losing Lead in Science and Engineering --Study" -- Reuters headline; "Allegations of Fake Research Hit New High" -- AP headline, two days later

Cemetery Allows People to be Buried by Their Pets

Man Held Over Giant L.A. Brush Fire


EVER WONDER .... ...................

Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?

If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?

If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?


That's all folks, from your embedded reporter, residing in Absurdia, the capital of The People's Republic of Absurdistan


Return to the Friday Musings Home Page

Return to the A-1 Associates Main Page