September 30, 2005

Friday's Musings

Pushing back the frontiers of ignorance.................

Hurricane Rita, is about the 9th hurricane out this season. Maybe this wasn't the time to take God out of the Pledge of Allegiance.

I have an idea about rebuilding Louisiana - Lets offer to sell the state back to the French for what we paid for it $3,000,000. Call it a "Fixer upper!" That would save us $20,000,000,000.


Juan's Juanderings...................

It is good to laugh at yourself. Why let everyone else have all the fun.

I wonder how long I would be on hold if my call WASN'T important to them?

There has been an alarming increase in the number of things most people know nothing about.

Did you hear about the world's worst athlete? He ran a bath and came in second.

Aim low, reach your goal, avoid disappointments.


Sara's Section.................................

October is Go Hog Wild Month

October 2 is . . . . . Name Your Car Day [Get out and push]

October 2 is . . . . . World Farm Animals Day

October 3 is . . . . . Dalton Defenders Days [Dalton needed someone to defend him!]

October 3 is . . . . . Lee's National Denim Day

October 3 is . . . . . World Smile Day [So do it!]

October 3 is . . . . . Virus Appreciation Day [Oooh yeah!]

October 3 is . . . . . International Frugal Fun Day

October 4 is . . . . . Toot Your Flute Day [Only if you have a flute to toot]

October 4 is . . . . . Ten-Four Day [Only in Hawaii, Danno!]

October 4 is . . . . . National Golf Day

October 5 is . . . . . National Storytelling Festival [Anything goes today!]

October 5 is . . . . . Intergeneration Day [Isn't that illegal in most states?]

October 5 is . . . . . Spinach Lovers Day [I'm speechless]

October 5 is . . . . . World Teachers Day [Say "thanks" to Sara!]

October 6 is . . . . . Come and Take It Day [I thought that was April 15....]

October 6 is . . . . . World Habitat Day [Where is Jimmy Carter?]

October 7 is . . . . . National Frappe Day

October 8 is . . . . . American Tag Day [Only Americans can play tag today]


Actual Headlines..............................

His new career will be as the star of a circus act. - - "Shot manager out of hospital" "Poughkeepsie Journal" September 29, 2005

NOT EVEN! "County Gives Suckers a Break" -- Grand Junction (Colo.) Sentinel headline


Ain't it the Truth.................

Most people deserve each other.

All the good ones, no matter what it is, are taken.

The one who snores will fall asleep first.

The length of a marriage is inversely proportional to the amount of money spent on the wedding.


That's all folks - from your embedded reporter deep in the heart of Absurdia, the Capital of the Peoples Republic of Absurdistan where truth is embroidered and lies are reality.


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