October 21, 2005
Pushing back the frontiers of
The reason congressmen try so hard to get re-elected is that they would hate to have to make a living under the laws they've passed.
If you are dumb, you have to be tough!
Ever notice that 'What the hell' is almost always the right decision?"
You can learn many things from children. How much patience you have, for instance
There should be a better way to start a day Than waking up every morning
Instant gratification takes too long
October is National Communicate With Your Kids Month AND October is also National Cookie Month (Is that a coincidence?)
October 23 is . . . . National Day of Concern About Young People
October 23 is . . . . National Mole Day
October 24 is . . . . National Bologna Day AND
October 24 is also . . . . United Nations Day (That is not a coincidence!!!)
October 25 is . . . . Punk For A Day Day
October 25 is . . . . Make A Difference Day
October 26 is . . . . Mule Day
October 26 is . . . . The anniversary of the shoot out at the OK Corral in Tombstone AZ in 1881
October 26 is . . . . Mother-in-Law Day
October 27 is . . . . Cranky Co-workers Day
October 27 is . . . . Sylvia Plath Day
October 28 is . . . . Plush Animal Lover's Day
October 28 is . . . . National Chocolate Day [and what could I add to THAT!]
October 29 is . . . . Hermit Day
"Two Accused of Bringing Stolen Coffee Maker to White Plains Brawl" -- White Plains Journal News headline WE CAN FIGHT ALL NIGHT LONG
Things you NEVER
Let's go to lunch. I'll treat.
I found this hundred-dollar bill right at your feet. It must be yours.
No sir, I'm not a telemarketer. I'm with the prize division and you have just won a new car.
No, I don't think we should get married. In fact, let's keep separate residences. I'll pay all the bills for both of them.
That's all the news from Absurdia, the capital of the People's Republic of Absurdistan for this week.
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