November 18, 2005

Friday's Musings

Pushing back the frontiers of ignorance..................

Global warming is not caused by human beings. In fact - Greenland's Ice Sheet is Growing..... Summary - (Nov 4, 2005) After gathering data on Greenland for more than a decade, ESA scientists have reported that the island's ice sheet is actually growing at its interior. Data collection began in 1991 with the radar altimeter instrument on board ESA's ERS-1, followed by ERS-2, and most recently Envisat, which has 10 instruments to measure various properties of the Earth from orbit. Greenland's ice sheet seems to be thickening at a rate of 6.4 cm (2.6 inches) a year above altitudes of 1,500 metres (5000 feet).

Juan's Juanderings.................

If it is true that girls are inclined to marry men like their fathers, it is understandable why mothers cry at weddings

Life is spent between episodes of women being mad at you.

I tried exercise as a means of burning fat, but it didn't work for me. When the fat started burning, it smelled like bacon and made me hungry.

My wife returned my new glasses to the optometrist - seems I wasn't seeing things her way

When you don't know what you are talking about, it's really hard to know when you are finished.

November is... International Drum Month

November 20 is . . . . . Absurdity Day [At last ! Absurdistan has it's own day!!!!]

November 20 is . . . . . Name Your PC Day [Mine is named Crash Dummy]

November 21 is . . . . . National Donor Sabbath Day

November 21 is . . . . . False Confessions Day

November 21 is . . . . . World Hello Day

November 22 is . . . . .Start Your Own Country Day [Can you top Absurdistan?]

November 23 is . . . . . National Cashew Day [Just for you nuts!]

November 24 is . . . . . Use Even If Seal Is Broken Day

November 25 is . . . . . National Parfait Day

November 26 is . . . . . Shopping Reminder Day [Yeh, Like you needed a reminder!]

November 26 is . . . . . What Do You Love About America? Day

Actual Headlines.................

THIS SURELY GOT A RISE OUT OF THE OWNERS: "Pizza Parlor Burglar Gets Away with Dough" -- Reuters headline

More of the Worlds Thinnest Books...............

DETROIT - a Travel Guide




Things you NEVER hear...........................

No, Honey, you control the remote tonight. It's too big a burden on me.

I'm with the IRS. We found an error on your return. It seems we owe you a lot of money.

No, your check didn't bounce. In fact, you have plenty of money in your account.

That's all from us comrades here in Absurdia, the capital of The People's Republic of Absurdistan for this week. Going to start a diet on Wednesday the 23rd of November.

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