December 02, 2005
Pushing back the frontiers of ignorance...............
We're afraid of what we don't know because there's so much we don't know. We don't even know how much we don't know.
If God doesn't destroy Hollywood, he owes Sodom and Gomorrah an apology
Q: What happens when you sing country and western music backwards? A: You get your wife, job and dog back.
It's hard to make a comeback when you have never amounted to much
A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says: "A beer please, and one for the road."
It's a strange world of language in which skating on thin ice can get you into hot water.
December is National Tie Month [Tie someone up?]
December 1 is . . . Day Without Art Day [Poor Art - he will be so lonely]
December 1 is . . . Hypnotize Yourself Out of Pain Now Day [Let me know how that works out for you]
December 1 is . . . National Fritters Day
December 3 is . . . National Roof over Your Head Day
December 4 is . . . Wear Brown Shoes Day
December 5 is . . . Bathtub Party Day [Invite a few friends]
December 5 is . . . National Communicate With Your Kids Day [Like they will listen]
December 6 is . . . National Pawnbrokers Day
December 8 is . . . Most Boring Celebrities Of The Year Day [Where do we start?]
December 10 is . . . Festival For The Souls Of Dead Whales [Any excuse for a party]
A Few Rules of Life you may have
1. Never give yourself a haircut after three margaritas.
2. You need only two tools, WD-40 and duct tape. If it doesn't move and it should, use WD-40. If it moves and shouldn't, use the tape.
3. The five most essential words for a healthy, vital relationship: "I apologize" and "You are right. "
4. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them. [even you]
5. When you make a mistake, make amends immediately. Crow is easier to eat while it's still warm.
Well comrades, that's all this week from the city of Absurdia, the capital of the Peoples Republic of Absurdistan except to remind you that when you hear the words "politically correct" that is the politically correct name of "Cultural Marxism!" You can Google it!
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