December 30, 2005

Friday's Musings

Pushing back the frontiers of ignorance........................

I bought a hobby horse by mail order as a Christmas present for my grandson. The toy arrived in 189 pieces. The instructions said that it could be put together in an hour.   However it took me two days to assemble the toy.    Finally, when it was all put together, I wrote a check, cut it into 189 pieces and mailed it off to the company.

I got another present for another grandchild - Lincoln Logs..................


Peter's Ponderings............................

I don't hold a grudge-not even against people who have done things to me I'll NEVER forgive.

Visa is everywhere you want to be, except out of debt.

I keep all my credit cards maxed out so I never have to worry about identity theft.

The lion and the calf shall lie down together, but the calf won't get much sleep. (Neither does VISA)

My wife and I divorced over religious differences - She thought she was God and I didn't.


Sara's Section...................................

January is Image Improvement Month [I really have to work on that!]

This week is National Lose Weight/Feel Great Week [Just this week! I can do that!]

January 1 is...Get A Life Day

January 1 is...First Foot Day

January 2 is...Run Up the Flagpole and See if Anybody Salutes It Day

January 2 is...Happy Mew Year for Cats Day

January 4 is...Dimpled Chad Day

January 4 is...Trivia Day

January 6 is...National Smith Day [Let's hear it for the Smiths!]

January 6 is...Organize Your Home Day [Oh yeah - that's going to happen!]


Actual Published Books..........................................

(A new series - something for everyone) (Now don't be offended - These are real)

It's a Gas! A Study of Flatulence; 1991 [No explanation needed.]

Wrestling for Gay Guys; 1994 [For anyone looking to perk up their fitness routine, self-defense, or erotic prowess.]

Hand Grenade Throwing as a College Sport; 1918 [The British Library's only copy was regrettably "destroyed by bombing." Perhaps the WWF could employ some of these strategies?]

The Gentle Art of Cooking Wives; 1900 [Oh no. That's just TOO easy!]

Walled Up Nuns and Nuns Walled In; 1895 [Sadly, no sequel was ever printed.]


That's it from your embedded reporter in Absurdia (we're only #2 in violent crimes in the nation but we are trying harder) the legally constituted capital of the Peoples Republic of Absurdistan


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