January 13, 2006
Pushing back the frontiers of
It's time folks. For years Teddy Kennedy was an embarrassment to his family and friends. His grades were so poor he got into Harvard as a "legacy." Then he was EXPELLED from Harvard for cheating. Then he became an embarrassment to his wife Joan, family, friends and the citizens of Massachusetts. He left his pregnant girlfriend, Mary Jo Kopechne, to drown in a drunken auto mishap while he swam miles to the main land. Then he and Sen. Chris Dodd had a "unique encounter" with a waitress on the floor of a Washington DC restaurant. Now his performance at the Judge Alito hearings embarrassed the entire nation! It's time for his "family" to PULL THE PLUG and put the plug in the jug and make him retire.
Always be sincere, even when you don't mean it
Have you ever noticed that the people who say "To make a long story short..." never actually do that?
She was only the whisky maker's daughter, but he loved her still.
Here's hoping you're in Heaven ten minutes before the devil knows you're dead! - It's an Irish toast. Here's to bread, eggs and cinnamon." - That's French toast.
I don't have a problem with authority, I just don't like people telling me what to do.
January is National Be On-Purpose Month
This week is Cuckoo Dancing Week
January 15 is...Champion of the Month Day
January 15 is...Just Do It! - Make a Connection Day
January 16 is...Hot and Spicy Food International Day
January 16 is...National Nothing Day
January 16 is...Religious Freedom Day
January 17 is...Blessing of the Animals at the Cathedral Day
January 17 is...Judgment Day [ and I'm worried about that! ]
January 18 is...Creole Heritage Day
January 18 is...Eagle Days
January 19 is...Penguin Awareness Day
January 20 is...National Buttercrunch Day
January 20 is...National Hugging Day
January 21 is...Rid The World of Fad Diets and Gimmicks Day
January 21 is...Squirrel Appreciation Day
Actual Published Book
Enjoy Your Chameleon; n.d. [How did they know I only enjoy my chameleon occasionally?]
Spider Communication; 1982 ["I say, Old Shoe! Did you have the Bickersons over at your web last night?]
The Coming Disaster Worse Than the H-bomb, Astronomically, Geologically and Scientifically Proven. The Coal Beds, Ice Ages, Tides, and Coming Soon, a Great Wave and Flood Caused by a Shift of the Axis of the Earth From the Gyroscopic Action of Our Solar System; 1954. Washington DC
Sex After Death; 1983
Man: The Prodigy and Freak of Nature; 1907
Some thoughts on
The reason a dog has so many friends is that he wags his tail instead of his tongue.
Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful
If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die I want to go where they went
There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face.
A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself.
The average dog is a nicer person than the average person.
That's about it from your embedded reporter who survived another week on the mean streets of Absurdia, the capital city of The Peoples Republic of Absurdistan.
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