February 24, 2006

Friday's Musings

Pushing back the frontiers of ignorance...............................

The libs are all upset over letting a Dubai company doing the scheduling and paperwork of some of the piers in six of our ports. I have and idea - let Halliburton manage three of them and Wal-Mart manage the other three!


Mary's marvelous mutterings............................

Marriage is a mutual relationship only if both parties know how and when to be mute.

A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort

Happiness is your dentist telling you it won't hurt and then having him catch his hand in the drill.

Have you ever thought that life is a car wash and you are on a bike?


Sara's Scandalous Section...........................

This is still National Sign Up for Summer Camp Month and National "Single and Searching" Month

February 26 is. . . For Pete's Sake Day [Good old Pete!]

February 27 is. . . International Polar Bear Day [now that's germane!]

February 28 is. . . Public Sleeping Day [Only during work/school hours]

February 28 is. . . Floral Design Day

March 1 is . . Babysitter Safety Day

March 1 is . . National Pig Day and Peanut Butter Lover's Day

March 2 is . . Old Stuff Day

March 3 is . . I Want You To Be Happy Day [So, Shut up and enjoy yourself!]

March 3 is . . What If Cats and Dogs Had Opposable Thumbs Day

March 4 is . . Courageous Follower Day [Where is the leader!]

March 4 is . . International Pancake Day

March 4 is . . Unique Names Day

March 5 is . . Learn What Your Name Means Day

March 5 is . . Multiple Personalities Day [don't you think each of your personalities deserves it's own day?]


Actual Headlines.................................

THANKFULLY, HE WASN'T ARMED: "Man Accused of Throwing Legs at Trooper" -- Roseburg (Ore.) News-Review headline

From Fort Meyers, Fla.: "Vintage car lover accused of stuffing rare parrot in her bra." [Just one?]


More State Mottos..................................

Connecticut: Like Massachusetts, Only The Kennedy's Don't Own It-Yet

Delaware: We Really Do Like The Chemicals In Our Water

Florida: Ask Us About Our Grandkids

Georgia: We Put The "Fun" In Fundamentalist Extremism

Hawaii: Haka Tiki Mou Sha'ami Leeki Toru (Death To Mainland Scum, But Leave Your Money)

Idaho: More Than Just Potatoes ... Well Okay We're Not, But The Potatoes Sure Are Real Good


That's about all that's fit to print from Absurdia, the capital city of The People's Republic of Absurdistan only the second most dangerous city - look out Detroit - we may just have an audit on the crime figures the boy mayor - Martin O'Malley fudged!!


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