March 03, 2006
Pushing back the frontiers of
Are you ready to insist on school vouchers yet? According to a June report in "The Guardian," at least two school district in Belgium will begin to serve a very-low-alcohol beer in public school cafeterias in an effort to wean kids aged 3 to 15 from sugary sodas and fruit juices. In this country they insist on getting a Doctor to proscribe Ritalin in most schools. Anything to "dumb down" the future citizens.
Susie's Servings .......................
They say you can't have too much of a good thing. Hmmm..... I wish I'd been part of that study.
Even if you are the on right track, you will get run over if you just sit there.
Honesty may be the best policy, but it's important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second best policy.
The principal function of the month of March is to use up the Winter weather that wouldn't fit in February
On the whole human beings want to be good, but not too good and not quite all the time
Sara's Section .....................................
March is International Mirth Month
March is also Irish-American Heritage Month
This is Return The Borrowed Books Week
This is also Universal Human Beings Week
This is also Celebrate Your Name Week
This is also National Pancake Week
This is also National Procrastination Week [Let's celebrate this next week!]
March 6 is . . National Frozen Food Day
March 6 is . . National Salesperson's Day [Take a salesman to lunch!]
March 7 is . . National Crown Roast Of Pork Day
March 8 is . . Be Nasty Day
March 8 is . . International (Working) Women's Day [Do we guys not get a day because we have the sign that say "Men Working?]
March 8 is . . Uppity Women's Day [oooh! I'm going to pay for this one!]
March 9 is . . Panic Day [See, told you so!]
March 10 is . . Festival Of Life In The Cracks Day
March 10 is . . Mario Day [Where would we be without electronic games]
March 11 is . . Dream Day
March 11 is . . Organize Your Home Office Day [oh yeah, that will happen!]
March 11 is . . Johnny Appleseed Day
March 12 is . . Alfred Hitchcock Day
Actual Headlines .........................................
Those danged Martians will stop at nothing: "NASA's Inspector General Probed" -- Washington Post headline
Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says [No, really? Wonder who figured that out?]
Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers [It's time we cracked down on those miscreants!]
Our continuing "State Mottos" .........................
Illinois: Please Don't Pronounce the "S"
Indiana: 2 Billion Years Tidal Wave Free
Iowa: We Do Amazing Things With Corn
Kansas: First Of The Rectangle States
Kentucky: Five Million People; Fifteen Last Names
Louisiana: We're Not ALL Drunk Cajun Wackos, But That's Our Tourism Campaign & "I'm going to keep drinking until Ray Negan makes sense!"
That's about all that's fit to print this week from here in beautiful downtown Absurdia, the capital city of The Peoples Republic of Absurdistan where we comrades are protected from that "GREAT EVIL" ... Wal-Mart but are more likely to be murdered or raped than anywhere else in this nation except for Detroit.
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