April 21, 2006

Friday's Musings

Pushing back the frontiers of ignorance...........................................

I waited a week to write this (to calm down) One should be able to count on their government to do two simple things. Protect our children and educate them to their best abilities. Well, those folks who claim to do "for the children" did not do that! They failed to pass any law against the sexual predators hurting our children and put off, FOR A WHOLE YEAR, any improvement in the horribly failing Baltimore city schools. So, if the next time you go to the polls, you vote for a Maryland Democrat for the Maryland senate or house of representatives ..............


Mary's Mutterings .............................................

They say it is better to be poor and happy than rich and miserable. But couldn't something be worked out, such as being moderately rich and just moody.

What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup? Anyone can roast beef.....

Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.

I am a nobody, and nobody is perfect; therefore I am perfect.

What the world needs is more geniuses with humility, there are so few of us left.


Sara's Section ..............................................

April is Soy Foods Month [YUK]

April is also Straw Hat Month

April is also Tackle Your Clutter Month

This is National Scoop the Poop Week

Today is Earth Day - is tomorrow Moon Day?

April 23 is World Book and Copyright Day

April 24 is National Pigs In A Blanket Day [and those of us from PA really appreciate this day!!!]

April 24 is Take Our Daughters & Sons to Work Day [that will make them study!]

April 25 is Arbor Day

April 25 is National Hairball Awareness Day [be sure to tell your cat!]

April 26 is Hug An Australian Day

April 26 is Richter Scale Day

April 26 is National Pretzel Day

April 26 is National Headache Day [I thought that was April 15th]

April 26 is National Sense of Smell Day

April 26 is Native American Heritage Day

April 27 is Books to Brighten Young Minds Day

April 28 No Excuse Day

April 29 Kiss Your Mate Day [only if you are on a ship?]


More Signs Seen Around the World ..........................................

At the entrance of the large machinery plant: Warning to young ladies: If you wear loose clothes, beware of the machinery. If you wear tight clothes, beware of the machinist.

Billboard on the side of the road: Keep your eyes on the road and stop reading these signs.

In a cafeteria: Shoes are required to eat in the cafeteria. Socks can eat any place they want.

In a cleaner’s window: Anyone leaving their garments here for more than 30 days will be disposed of.

In a Laundromat: Automatic washing machines. Please remove all your clothes when the light goes out.


More Real Published Books ..................................

The Bright Side of Prison Life; 1897

Romance of the Gas Industry; 1922

The Lull Before Dorking; 1871

How to Pick Pockets. A Treatise on the Fundamental Principle, Theory and Practice of Picking Pockets

Hash for the Benefit of Tired Readers; 1896


That's it for this week from your embedded reporter, deep in an underground bunker in an undisclosed location in the suburbs of Absurdia, the capital city of The Peoples Republic of Absurdistan.


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