April 28, 2006

Friday's Musings

Pushing back the frontiers of ignorance.........................

I may have been a tad too condemning to the Maryland Democratic Congressional people last week! Although it is true that they refused to protect our children from repeat sexual predators and condemned the children in the totally failed Baltimore City Schools to at least another year of failure, they did pass a law protecting ferrets. I guess they could identify with an animal that looks a lot like a weasel!


Mary's Manic Mutterings ................................

When they discover the center of the universe, a lot of people will be disappointed to discover they are not it.

Why must the phrase, "It is none of my business," always be followed by the word "but"?

Anything preying on my mind would starve to death

A word to the wise isn't necessary. It's the stupid ones who need the advice.

Democracy: a form of government by the people in which everybody knows how things should be handled except those elected to do the job.


Sarah's Section...................................................

May is Get Caught Reading Month

This week is National Peace of Mind Week [or is that "a piece of my mind"]

May 1 is . . Mother Goose Day

May 1 is . . also National Bubba Day [for my friends - down south!]

May 1 is . . Save the Rhino Day [for my friend in Ithica!]

May 1 is . . School Principals' Day [Sarah - take note]

May 2 is . . Sibling Appreciation Day [Yeah, that will be a success]

May 3 is . . Do Dah Day

May 3 is . . Lumpy Rug Day

May 4 is . . Kite Day [So, go fly a kite!]

May 5 is . . Cartoonists Day [what's so funny about that?]

May 5 is . . Slow Down Day

May 6 is . . Joseph Brackett Day [So, who is Joseph Brackett and why does he have a day?]

May 6 is . . National Teacher Day [Hooray for Sarah!]

May 6 is . . No Diet Day

May 6 is . . No Homework Day For Sarah's students ONLY]


Actual Headlines..............................................

SHAKEDOWN: "Lunch Lady Accused of Stealing Lunch Money" -- Manchester (N.H.) Union Leader headline

MAYBE, AS LONG AS ERRANT COMPANIES ARE WHIPPED: "Tanzanian Legislator Wants Errant Investors Spanked" -- Reuters headline

JUVENILE COURT TO TRY SHOOTING DEFENDANT [See if that works any better than a fair trial!]

WAR DIMS HOPE FOR PEACE [I can see where it might have that effect!]


Signs Seen Around the World..........................

In a Los Angeles dance hall: Good clean dancing every night but Sunday.

In a Maine restaurant: Open seven days a week and weekends.

In a New York restaurant: Customers who find our waitresses rude ought to see the manager.

In an office: After the tea break, staff should empty the teapot and stand upside down on the draining board.

On a church door: This is the gate of Heaven. Enter ye all by this door. (This door is kept locked because of the draft. Please use side entrance)


Actual Published Books ................................................

The Foul and the Fragrant: Odor and the French Social Imagination; 1986.

Who's Who in Barbed Wire; 1970.

The Madman as Entrepreneur: Career Management in House Prostitution; 1979.

Correct Mispronunciations of Some South Carolina Names; 1981.


Well, that's it for this week from your embedded reporter, deep in an underground bunker at an undisclosed location in the outskirts of Absurdia, the capital city of The Peoples Republic of Absurdistan trying to hold on to some vestige of sanity in an increasingly insane world!


DISCLAIMER: This email is intended exclusively for the use of the original addressee named above in the first iteration and may contain information that is confidential, privileged or unsuitable for overly sensitive persons with low self-esteem, no sense of humor or irrational political and or religious beliefs, not to mention gender, justice, race, ethnicity, dialect, sexual preference, the war, and anything else on which there may exist a single issue difference of opinion. If you are not the intended recipient, any dissemination, distribution or copying of this email is not authorized, either explicitly or implicitly, and constitutes an irritating social faux pas. If you have received this message in error, you may not enjoy it without feeling unimaginably guilty. Please erase your entire hard drive so that you will not bother anyone else so deprived of having a life........


Return to the Friday's Musings Home Page

Return to the A-1 Associates Main Page