May 19, 2006

Friday's Musings

Pushing back the frontiers of ignorance.......................

Another "Liberal American Idol" of the left has bit the dust. I am referring to that "Noble Native American" - Ward Churchill. First we found out he wasn't a "Native American" and now we find out that his "Noble Research" wasn't so noble (or truthful) either!

Then there is Cindy Sheehan, last summers' "Liberal American Idol" Turns out she never cared enough for her dead son to place a memorial on his grave. Then she attacked Hillary Clinton and now the liberal press won't touch her.

Joe Wilson is next! When will our liberals learn? Every time they come up with a "Liberal American Idol" they turn out to have the moral fiber of Teddy Kennedy! Absolutely none!


Mary's Marvelous Mutterings.....................

May is National Mental Health Month . You can do your bit by remembering to send an e-mail to at least one unstable person.
Well, my job's done!

Make somebody happy today. Mind your own business.

Be patient and achieve all things, be impatient and achieve all things faster.

The Bible tells us to love our neighbors, and also to love our enemies; probably because generally they are the same people

Did you realize that boss spelled backwards is double s.o.b.


Sara's Section..................................

May is National Very Important Parents Month [You know who you are]

This is You Gotta Have Park Week

May 21 is . . I Need A Patch For That Day

May 21 is . . National Waitstaff Day [What are they waiting for?]

May 21 is . . Turn Beauty Inside Out Day [Scares the heck out of me!]\

May 22 is . . Buy-A-Musical-Instrument Day [I have a lute for sale]

May 23 is . . Morning Radio Wise Guy Day [That's every day]

May 23 is . . World Turtle Day: [Take your turtle for a walk!]

May 24 is . . National Escargot Day [Now that's just cruel]

May 24 is . . International Jazz Day

May 25 is . . Coal Miner Day

May 27 is . . Great American Grump Out Day [One of MY FAVORITES!]

May 28 is . . Slugs Return to Baltimore Day

May 29 is . . Hug Your Cat Day

May 29 is . . End Of The Middle Ages Day [At last!]

May 30 is . . My Bucket's Got A Hole In It Day

May 30 is . . What You Think Upon Grows Day [How did that slip in here?]

May 31 is . . World No-Tobacco Day [for you tobacco Nazis']


Actual Headlines..............................

BRING A FEW MILLION FRIENDS: "Free Tickets for City's Genocide Event" -- Glendale (Calif.) News Press headline

THEM'S FIGHTING WORDS: "Moscow Man Throws Typewriter at Passing Ukrainian" -- Moscow (Russia) News headline

If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile [You think?]


More "Laws of Life"......................

Law of Mechanical Repair: After your hands become coated with grease your nose will begin to itch or you'll have to pee.

Law of the Workshop: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

Law of Probability: The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.

Law of the Telephone: When you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal.


That's it for this week from your embedded reporter, deep in the bottom of a non-descript cinder-block and steel building somewhere near the city of Absurdia, the government recognized capital of the Peoples Republic of Absurdistan.


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