June 23, 2006

Friday's Musings

Pushing back the frontiers of ignorance..................

The American Taliban (Democrat Liberals) have struck again: A conservative advocacy group is bristling over the PG rating given to a new family film with a "pro-God theme." It accuses the Motion Picture Association of America of putting Christianity on the same level as sex, violence, and profanity because it might offend non-believers.~~ According to the movie poster, the theme of Facing the Giants is, "Never give up, never back down, never lose faith." But the movie poster also says parental guidance is suggested "for some thematic elements."


Mary's Minutes..............................................

If money doesn't grow on trees, then why do banks have branches?

If people weren't meant to have midnight snacks, then why do they put a light in the refrigerator

I had amnesia once -- or twice. I think.

I went to San Francisco. I found someone's heart. Now what?

All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.


Sara's Salacious Selections................................

June is National Papaya Month [I knew you would want to know that]

June 25 is . . . . Log Cabin Day

June 26 is . . . . National Chocolate Pudding Day [Now that's my kind of celebration!]

June 27 is . . . . National Columnists Day

June 28 is . . . . Paul Bunyan Day

June 29 is . . . . Camera Day

June 30 is . . . . Meteor Day [Look up at the sky tonite]


Actual Headlines.........................................................

WHICH ONE OF THEM FOUND THE ANSWER FIRST? "Philosopher, Scientist, Farmer Crack Chicken-Egg Question" -- AFP headline

AS A LOW-COST ALTERNATIVE, YOU CAN JUST PRETEND YOU HAVE ONE: "Cordless Jump-rope Can Help the Clumsy" -- AP headline

YOU CAN STOP WORRYING, VIRGINIA: "Police Reject Killing Off Santa" -- PA headline


Now that I'm older............................................

Employment application blanks always ask 'who is to be notified in case of an emergency.' I think you should write, "A Good Doctor!"

Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do -- write to these men? Why don't they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen could look for them while they deliver the mail?

I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older. Then, it dawned on me, they were cramming for their finals. As for me, I'm just hoping God grades on the curve.


Things you wish you could say at work............................

I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to worship me.

I'll try being nicer if you try being smarter.

I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message.

I don't work here. I'm a consultant.

It sounds like English, but I can't understand a word you're saying.


And that's it from your embedded reporter, hunkered down, keeping a low profile near Absurdia, the capital city of The Peoples Republic of Absurdistan.


And "on the other hand"   Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things.


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