July 07, 2006

Friday's Musings

Pushing back the frontiers of ignorance....................................

Trouble with North Korea? Can't be! Lets review the record. Rocket aiming technology was given to China by Bill Clinton and Madam HalfBright. This was then transferred to North Korea. Nuclear technology was given directly to North Korea by our impeached former president - Bill Clinton at the urging of former president Jimmy Carter. Lets put this party back in charge of the defense of our country!


Mary's Mahvelous Musings.............................................

Congress gave itself a big raise and voted against the minimum wage, which is kind of ironic. I mean if anybody should getting minimum wage, it's Congress

Sometimes its hard to tell the difference between the strong, silent type and the simply stupid type.

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

Some mistakes are too much fun to only make once.

I couldn't afford vanity plates for the car so I changed my name to MZW-450.


Sarah's Section.....................................

July is Read An Almanac Month,

This is Nude Recreation Week [You are on your own!]

July 9 is . . . . . National Sugar Cookie Day

July 10 is . . . . . Clerihew Day [Whatever that is]

July 10 is . . . . . Don't Step On A Bee Day

July 10 is . . . . . Chuy's National Taco Day

July 11 is . . . . . National Yo-Yo Day [A day for me!]

July 11 is . . . . . National Cheer Up The Lonely Day

July 12 is . . . . . National Pecan Pie Day

July 13 is . . . . . Blame Someone Else Day

June 13 is . . . . . National Juggling Day

June 13 is . . . . . Kitchen Klutzes Of America Day

July 13 is . . . . . Embrace Your Geekness Day

July 13 is . . . . . Gruntled Workers Day [Better than disgruntled!]

July 13 is . . . . . International Skeptics Day [Why are we celebrating this?]

July 13 is . . . . . Fool's Paradise Day

July 14 is . . . . . National Nude Day

July 14 is . . . . . International Town Criers Day [Don't cry for me, Absurdistan]

July 14 is . . . . . Family Awareness Day

July 15 is . . . . . National Tapioca Pudding Day [I could get into this day]

July 15 is . . . . . Respect Canada Day


Actual Headlines.............................................................

AND YOU THOUGHT YOUR JOB WAS TOUGH: "Bill Gates Sets Indian Software Professionals on Fire" -- Asian News International headline

SURPRISING RESULTS OF CAREFUL STUDY: "Falling Japan Birth Rate Due to Lack of Sex" -- Reuters headline


Seen on T-Shirts in Absurdia Lately...............................................

"Frankly Scallop, I Don't Give a Clam." (seen on Cape Cod)

"That's It! I'm Calling Grandma!" (seen on an 8 year old)

"Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew Up"

"Procrastinate Now."

"Rehab Is for Quitters."


A Friday's Musings Extra.....................................................

Suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But then I repeat myself

I contend that for a nation to try to tax itself into prosperity is like a man standing in a bucket and trying to lift himself up by the handle.

A government which robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul.

Democracy must be something more than two wolves and a sheep voting on what to have for dinner.


Well, that's it from my command bunker in Absurdia, the capital city of The People's Republic of Absurdistan.


And on the other hand................................

Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.


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