July 14, 2006

Friday's Musings

Pushing back the frontiers of ignorance...................................

Greenpeace has been fined for damaging a very sensitive ecological system! Now, isn't this just typical ham-handedness of the left?

(CNSNews.com) Greenpeace sailed to a world heritage site in the southern Philippines to raise awareness about climate change on Monday and struck a submerged coral reef it was trying to protect...


Mary's Mutterings.........................................

I decided to stop worrying about my grandson's driving and take advantage of it. I got one of those bumper stickers that say, "How's my driving?" and put a 900 number on it. At $1.00 a call, I've been making about $95 a week.

If it is true that girls are inclined to marry men like their fathers, it is understandable why mothers cry at weddings.

Medicine is sky high. I got one prescription that says, "Take one capsule as often as you can afford it."

Teach a child to be polite and courteous in the home and, when he grows up, he'll never be able to merge his car onto the freeway.

Experience is the thing you have left when everything else is gone.


Sarah's Section.....................................

July is Cell Phone Courtesy Month [should be EVERY month!]

This is National Cheese Week

July 16 is . . . . . International Juggling Day [are they talking about my bank account?]

July 12 is . . . . . Stewarts Root Beer Day [Are they still around?]

July 17 is . . . . . National Peach Ice Cream Day

July 18 is . . . . . National Caviar Day

July 18 is . . . . . National Splurge Day

July 18 is . . . . . International Panic Day [Fear not]

July 19 is . . . . . Flitch Day

July 19 is . . . . . World Sauntering Day [So saunter away!]

July 19 is . . . . . Cow Appreciation Day [So appreciate away!]

July 19 is . . . . . Shark Awareness Day

July 20 is . . . . . Ugly Truck Contest Day

July 20 is . . . . . National Ice Cream Day

July 20 is . . . . . Take Your Dog To Work Day

July 20 is . . . . . Toad Hollow Day of Thank You

July 21 is . . . . . Baby Boomer's Recognition Day

July 21 is . . . . . Join Hands Day

June 21 is . . . . . Cuckoo Warning Day

July 21 is . . . . . Pick Up Some Litter Day

July 21 is . . . . . Vegan World Day [free hot dogs and hamburgers]

July 21 is . . . . . National Tug-Of-War Tournament Day

July 22 is . . . . . Ratcatcher's Day

July 22 is . . . . . Health & Happiness with Hypnosis Day


Actual Want-Ads....................................

Mixing bowl set designed to please a cook with round bottom for efficient beating.

Semi-Annual after-Christmas Sale.

And now, the Superstore--unequaled in size, unmatched in variety, unrivaled inconvenience.

We will oil your sewing machine and adjust tension in your home for $1.00.


Have you ever wondered.......................................

If carrots are so good for the eyes, how come I see so many dead rabbits on the highway?

How come we choose from just two people for president and 50 for Miss America?

Ever notice that people who spend money on beer, cigarettes, and lottery tickets are always complaining about being broke
and not feeling well?

On my first day of school, my parents dropped me off at the wrong nursery. There I was...surrounded by trees and bushes.


That's about it from here in the suburbs of Absurdia, the capital of the Peoples Republic of Absurdistan where Mayor O'Malley cooks the books - daily - in an effort to appear gubernatorial.


And, on the other hand - The one important thing I have learned over the years is the difference between taking one's work seriously and taking oneself seriously. The first is imperative and the second disastrous.


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