July 21, 2006

Friday's Musings

Pushing back the frontiers of ignorance...................

The ACLU is filing suit in Los Angeles federal court against the new requirement that airport screeners be U.S. citizens. The new law would hit hardest at San Francisco airport, where about 80 percent of its 800 screeners are not citizens. Amazingly, the ACLU attorneys kept straight faces while arguing the citizenship requirement would damage air security. [This will also he hard on all of the Arabic-born, Islamic extremist Air Marshals.]

And on the Republican side - there is Arlan Spector R. PA whose intelligence matches that of the ACLU.


Mary's Marvelous Mutterings..............................................

There is always someplace better than here, until you get there.

Progress might have been all right once, but it has gone on too long.

Some minds are like concrete, thoroughly mixed up and permanently set.

One nice thing about egotists: they don't talk about other people.

My weight is perfect for my height -- which varies.


Sarah's Section....................................

July is National "Doghouse Repairs" Month

This is Take Your Pet To Work Week

July 23 is . . . . . Hot Enough For Ya Day

July 23 is . . . . . Let It Go Day

July 23 is . . . . . National Vanilla Ice Cream Day

July 24 is . . . . . Amelia Earhart Day [buy her luggage and watch it disappear like she did]

July 24 is . . . . . Virtual Love Day [Do you know someone named Virtual?]

June 25 is . . . . . Log Cabin Day

July 25 is . . . . . Threading The Needle Day

July 26 is . . . . . All Or Nothing Day

July 26 is . . . . . Black-Eyed Peas Jamboree in Athens TX

July 27 is . . . . . Parents' Day [and we deserve it!]

July 27 is . . . . . Take Your Houseplant For A Walk Day

July 27 is . . . . . Take Your Pants For A Walk Day

July 28 is . . . . . National Milk Chocolate Day

July 28 is . . . . . National Hamburger Day - Louis Lessing invented it in CT in 1900

July 28 is . . . . . Descendants Day [Who would have imagined we would descend to this?]

July 28 is . . . . . National Drive-Thru Day

July 90 is . . . . . The start of the Garlic Festival in Gilroy, California

July 29 is . . . . . Cheese Sacrifice Purchase Day

July 30 is . . . . . National Cheesecake Day

July 30 is . . . . . Mutt's Day


Actual Headlines......................................

LET'S SHOW THEM WHAT HE'S MADE OF: "Saddam [Hussein] Ends Hunger Strike after Missing One Meal" -- Reuters headline


OH, NOW THERE'S A BIG SURPRISE: "Much of the Adult Population Are Poor Role Models" -- Edinburgh (Scotland) Evening News headline


Actual Want Ads.................................................

Girl wanted to assist magician in cutting-off-head illusion. Blue Cross and salary.

For Sale. Three canaries of undermined sex.

Get rid of aunts: Zap does the job in 24 hours.

Christmas sale. Handmade gifts for the hard-to-find person.


Thoughts for today's world............................

Energizer Bunny arrested -- charged with battery.

A pessimist's blood type is always b-negative.

Practice safe eating - always use condiments.

Shotgun wedding: A case of wife or death.

I used to work in a blanket factory, but it folded.


Well, there is news from Absurdistan! The mental midgets that we call legislators had the "Wal-Mart bill" shoved right back in their stupid faces as un-Constitutional! Seems that there was at least one honest judge living in Absurdia, the capital of the People's Republic of Aburdistan! Could "the age of reason" be returning or was this just a blip on the radar?


And on the other hand - A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort


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