August 04, 2006

Friday's Musings

Pushing back the frontiers of ignorance............

Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton made an interesting statement. She said technology's getting so intrusive, she feared that soon American children will one day have a computer chip implanted in their brains. She said she is against that idea, however, she said she wouldn't mind having a low-jack installed in Bill's butt.

And for you believers in that junk science called "global warming...." that great scientist, Oprah Winfrey also said in 1987 that one in five heterosexuals could be dead from AIDS at the end of three years (1990) and, no, we did not set any heat records this week - they were set in the 1930's

Mary's Merry-Go-Round of Mutterings............................

If you let a smile be your umbrella, then most likely your butt will get soaking wet.

There are two sides to every argument, but I don't have time to listen to yours.

Marriage means commitment. Of course, so does insanity.

Women should always let men have the last words of an argument... "Yes Ma'am."

The cost of living hasn't affected its popularity.

Sarah's Solid Selections......................

August is Romance Awareness Month and Foot Health Month [a coincidence?]

This week is Thanks For All The Gifts Week [But I didn't get YOURS!]

August 6 is...Wiggle Your Toes Day

August 7 is...Sea Serpent Day [Take your favorite out for a nice lunch)

August 8 is...Sneak Zucchini Onto Your Neighbor's Porch Night

August 8 is...Admit You're Happy Day [Aw, come on! Admit it!]

August 8 is...Kool-Aid Day

August 8 is...Work Like A Dog Day [And this is different?]

August 9 is...International Single-Out Day

August 9 is...National Garage Sale Day

August 9 is...Veep Day [Don't veep on a new shirt - it will shrink]

August 9 is...National Polka Festival [Just for us Western Pennsylvanians!]

August 10 is...Lazy Day

August 10 is...National Underwear Day

August 10 is...National Duran Duran Appreciation Day

August 11 is...Spoil Your Dog Day

August 12 is...Middle Child's Day

August 13 is...Blame Someone Else Day [at last - recognition!]

My home town is so small....................

The City Jail is called amoeba, because it only has one cell.

Main Street - one block long - dead ends in both directions.

McDonalds only has one Golden Arch.

The phone book has only one page.

The 7-11 is a 3&1/2 - 5&1/2.

The New Year's baby was born in October.

Seen On A T-Shirt..................

"My Dog Can Lick Anyone."

"I Have a Degree in Liberal Arts - Do You Want Fries With That?"

"Party - My Crib - Two A.M." (on a baby-size shirt)

"Finally 21, and Legally Able to Do Everything I've Been Doing Since 15."


That's it from your embedded reporter, deep in a bunker, located on the outskirts of Absurdia, the capital city of The Peoples Republic of Absurdistan where the number of High School Freshmen is greater than the total of all of the Sophomores, Juniors & Seniors and the Mayor is running for Governor on his "great education record."

Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle of some kind!

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