August 11, 2006

Friday's Musings

Pushing Back the frontiers of ignorance.....................

(CNSNews.com) - People sweltering from a heat wave in the Mid-Atlantic region of the U.S. might find cold comfort in the fact that the temperatures of the past few days were not the hottest on record. That “honor” belongs to a summer 76 years ago -- decades before the controversy over “man-made global warming” began... 1930 and 1936. And there were NO SUV's and darned few automobiles. Maybe it's the horses that cause global warming.


Mary's Marvelous Mutterings......................................

It's a good thing Lincoln wrote the Gettysburg Address the year that he did, or else that "four score and seven years part would have just been plain wrong."

Since it was my birthday recently, I think this is fitting. I personally don't mind growing old, but my body's
taking it badly.

The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.

Something has to be wrong, we spend sixty million a year on medical research and two billion on get-well cards

You know you're getting fat when you pinch an inch on your forehead


Sarah's Spicy Selections...............................

August is Romance Awareness Month & Foot Health Month [a coincidence?

This is Weird Contest Week

August 13 is...Blame Someone Else Day

August 14 is...National Creamsicle Day

August 15 is...National Relaxation Day

August 15 is...National Failures Day

August 15 is...Watermelon Day

August 16 is...Joe Miller's Joke Day

August 16 is...Sandcastle & Sculpture Day

August 16 is...Vinegar Day

August 15 is...Watermelon Day

August 17 is...National Thriftshop Day

August 18 is...Bad Poetry Day

August 18 is...Petz Day

August 18 is...Stay Home With Your Kids Day [If you can stand it!]

August 19 is...Potato Day [Hello Idaho!]


Actual Headlines.................................

ON THE OTHER HAND, WE REALLY CAN'T BE SURE: "AAA Says Record Gas Price Predictions May or May Not Come True" -- Kingsport (Tenn.) Times-News headline

BOLD AFTER-THE-ACCIDENT CONCLUSION: "Fatal Tour Boat Unsafe" -- Albany (N.Y.) Times Union headline


T-Shirts Seen Lately...................

6. "My Dog Can Lick Anyone."

7. "I Have a Degree in Liberal Arts - Do You Want Fries With That?"

8. "Party - My Crib - Two A.M." (on a baby-size shirt)

9. "Finally 21, and Legally Able to Do Everything I've Been Doing Since 15."

10. "ALL MEN ARE IDIOTS, AND I MARRIED THEIR KING."


Deep Thoughts from the Deep....................................

I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.

Borrow money from pessimists -- they don't expect it back.

Half the people you know are below average.

99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

82.7% of all statistics are made up on the spot.


That's it for this week from Absurdia, the Peoples Republic of Absurdistan. And..............maybe for the next two weeks as I am taking a trip out to the Grand Canyon and other interesting points west - just wait until you see the pictures!! Unless my IT guy (grandson Ben) can piggy back it out to you.


And on the Other Hand................

A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort


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