September 29, 2006

Friday's Musings

Pushing back the frontiers of ignorance........................

Go PA!.. Mayor Louis J. Barletta of Hazleton, Pa., is standing by one of the strictest anti-illegal immigration laws in the country in spite of a lawsuit claiming the ordinance is unconstitutional. The ACLU filed suit last Wednesday The law would fine landlords who rent to illegal aliens, deny business permits to entities that employ them, and make English the town's official language.


Mary's Marvelous Mutterings.........................

I went to a strip mall the other day. Let me tell you, I was disappointed. Everybody else had on clothes.

A.A.A.A.A. - An organization for drunks who drive.

There are more men than women in mental hospitals - which just goes to show who's driving who crazy.

On the other hand, you have different fingers.

What the world needs is more geniuses with humility, there are so few of us left.


Sarah's Courageous Calendar..........................

October is National Go Nuts Over Texas Peanuts Month

This is Tolkien Week

This is also No Salt Week [So don't let any sailors in!]

October 1 is . . . . . World Vegetarian Day [Put some extra veggies on your hamburger]

October 2 is . . . . . Name Your Car Day [Not THAT name in front of the kids]

October 2 is . . . . . World Farm Animals Day

October 3 is . . . . . Virus Appreciation Day [Try to remember that with your nose running]

October 3 is . . . . . Dalton Defenders Days

October 3 is . . . . . National Denim Day

October 4 is . . . . . International Frugal Fun Day [cheapskate]

October 4 is . . . . . Toot Your Flute Day

October 4 is . . . . . Ten-Four Day [Good Buddy!]

October 4 is . . . . . National Golf Day [I thought that was another name for weekends]

October 5 is . . . . . National Storytelling Festival

October 5 is . . . . . Spinach Lovers Day [If it didn't come from Mexico]

October 5 is . . . . . World Teachers Day

October 6 is . . . . . Come and Take It Day [But not at my bank?]

October 6 is . . . . . Jackie Mayer Rehab Day

October 6 is . . . . . National German-American Day

October 6 is . . . . . World Habitat Day

October 6 is . . . . . World Herbal Health Day

October 7 is . . . . . National Frappe Day


Actual Headlines.........................

THAT'S THE FIRST THING I ALWAYS THINK OF: "Hidden Bodies Often a Signpost of Fraud" -- Pittsburgh Tribune-Review headline

MORE ACCURATELY, SHE INSISTS, THE DOG CRASHED: "Woman Crashes When Teaching Dog to Drive" -- AP headline

GEE! "Shanghai Adult Toy Fair Hits the Spot" -- Reuters headline


Murphy's Lesser-Known Dictums

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear right until you hear them speak.

He who laughs last, thinks slowest.

Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.


Actual Warnings ......................................

On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping.

On a blanket from Taiwan: Not to be used as protection from a tornado.

On a steering wheel lock: Warning--remove lock before driving.

On a flower pot: Houseplants are for ornamental use and should not be consumed.

On a bottle of milk: After opening, keep upright.


And that's it from your embedded reporter, hiding out on the outskirts of Absurdia, the capital of The Peoples Republic of Absurdistan, where Spanglish is the normal language.


For you travel and/or amateur photo enthusiasts, you can find a compendium of my latest travel adventures at:
http://www.a-1associates.com/West/index_page_for_western_trip.htm


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