October 20, 2006

Friday's Musings

Pushing back the frontiers of ignorance..........................

A new definition of criminally inept - The party of abortion and taxes has had to put their flagship "Air America" in receivership (again?) in spite of the millions of dollars George Souros and others have donated. And they want to run the country.


Mary's Mutterings...........................

The reason everyone should go to college is to get a high school education

You know what they call the guy who finishes last in medical school? They call him Doctor.

Mothers everywhere want their children to give peas a chance

Some people have more problems than an arithmetic book

Confusion not only reigns, it pours


Sarah's Section...................................

October is National "Gain The Inside Advantage" Month [Buy your local congressman]

October is also National Pickled Pepper Month

This is National Character Counts Week

October 22 is . . . . National Color Day

October 23 is . . . . National Day of Concern About Young People & Violence Day

October 23 is . . . . TV Talk Show Host Day [Like they don't make enough]

October 23 is . . . . National Mole Day

October 24 is . . . . National Bologna Day and United Nations Day [And THAT is no coincidence!]

October 25 is . . . . Punk For A Day Day

October 25 is . . . . Make A Difference Day

October 25 is . . . . Sourest Day

October 25 is . . . . Punk For A Day Day

October 26 is . . . . Mule Day

October 26 is . . . . Horseless Carriage Day [Take your car out for lunch]

October 26 is . . . . Mother-in-Law Day

October 27 is . . . . Cranky Co-workers Day

October 27 is . . . . Sylvia Plath Day

October 28 is . . . . Plush Animal Lover's Day and

October 28 is . . . . National Chocolate Day This should be foe a week - at least]


Actual Headlines..........................................

NEXT WEEK, THE IRISH WORLD OYSTER EATING CHAMPIONSHIP BEGINS: "Irishman Wins World Oyster Opening Championship" -- Reuters headline


GOVERNOR CHILES OFFERS RARE OPPORTUNITY TO GOOSE HUNTERS The Tallahassee Democrat

WOULD SHE CLIMB TO THE TOP OF MR. EVEREST AGAIN? ABSOLUTELY! The Houston Chronicle


Now that I'm older, I've discovered............................

It's hard to make a come back when you haven't been anywhere.

The only time the world beats a path to your door is when you're in the bathroom.

If God wanted me to touch my toes, he would have put them on my knees.

When I'm finally holding all the cards, why does everyone decide to play chess?


Things you wish you could say at work............................

I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.

It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of Karma to burn off.

Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.


That is it for this week from your embedded reporter on the outskirts of the second most dangerous city in the United States (Look out Detroit - we love a challenge!) known as Absurdia, the capital city of The Democratic Peoples Republic of Absurdistan located in the heart of the Patapsco Drainage Basin


And on the other hand..........................

The height of your accomplishments will equal the depth of your convictions.


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