November 03, 2006

Friday's Musings

Pushing back the frontiers of ignorance.....................

The "spiritual leader" of the Democratic Party, John Kerry D-MA stated that if you don't study hard and get ahead that you will end up in Iraq!   He said it was a "botched joke" but he said the same thing in 1972 and made no apologies for it.  In the more recent past, he said our troops in Iraq were breaking into homes of the innocent, during nightly prayers (a nice touch!) and raping the wives and daughters.  The last Presidential Candidate of the Democratic Party!

Could you possibly put these people in charge of our national security or even your own security on a local level?


Pricilla's Precious Pronouncements...................

The honeymoon's over when you're no longer drinking to one another, but because of.

Daily exercise - no pain - GOOD!

I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and think, 'Well, that's not going to happen.'

Sometimes I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.

If you can't laugh at yourself, I'll be glad to do so for you


Sarah's Salacious Selections.................

This is still National Sarcastics Awareness Month

This is Kids' Goal Setting Week

November 6 is . . . . . The Lost Chord Day [Use duct tape next time]

November 6 is . . . . . Saxophone Day

November 6 is . . . . . Marooned Without A Compass Day [and this is different how]

November 6 is . . . . . National Men Make Dinner Day

November 6 is . . . . . Return Day

November 7 is . . . . . Boy on the Burning Deck Day

November 7 is . . . . . National Bittersweet Chocolate With Almonds Day

November 7 is . . . . . Notary Public Day

November 8 is . . . . . If Wishes were Horses Day [Looking for a free ride?]

November 8 is . . . . . Dunce Day [Please don't mention my name]

November 8 is . . . . . Abet and Aid Punsters Day [just for you Glenn]

November 8 is . . . . . Cook Something Bold and Pungent Day

November 8 is . . . . . National Ample Time Day

November 8 is . . . . . National Parents As Teachers Day [amateur day]

November 9 is . . . . . Missing Link Day

November 9 is . . . . . Chaos Never Dies Day

November 10 is . . . . . Forget-Me-Not Day

November 11 is . . . . . Air Day

November 12 is . . . . . National Pizza With The Works Except Anchovies Day


Actual Headlines...........................

YEAH, RIGHT, LIKE ANYONE BELIEVES THAT: "Pessimism Raises Dementia Risk, Study Finds" -- Reuters headline

DOESN'T THAT HAPPEN EVERY YEAR? "Clown is Running for Mayor of Alameda"

WHO WANTS TO KNOW? "Many Egyptians Haven't Heard of Opinion Polls --Poll" -- Reuters headline


Murphy's less known laws...........................

Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.

The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.

If you lined up all the cars in the world end to end, someone would be stupid enough to try to pass them, five or six at a time, on a hill, in the fog. [Are you speaking of ME?]

If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.

The things that come to those who wait will be the things left by those who got there first.


Actual Published Books.......................

Manhole Covers of Los Angeles; 1974.

Leadership Secrets of Attila the Hun; 1995.

Three Weeks in Wet Sheets; 1856.

Be Married and Like It; 1937.

Pranks With the Mouth; 1879.

Build Your Own Hindenburg; 1983.


Well, that's about it from your embedded reporter in hiding, on the outskirts of Absurdia, the capital of The Democratic People's Republic of Absurdistan which has now achieved first place in the most dangerous city in the country (Sorry Detroit) but we are still only the second in the worst graduation rate in the nation.


But, on the other hand ...........................

A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort


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