November 17, 2006

Friday's Musings

Pushing back the frontiers of ignorance..................

For you "Man caused global warming" fans, it is now being proven from ice core samples that the planet warms up about every 13,000 years and it's time now. Another example, Remember the Swordfish scare a few years ago? "Man was dumping mercury in the ocean and the little fish that ate it were eaten by bigger fish etc. until it got to the tuna and swordfish. A fine scenario! Indeed! From the University of California at Davis: "The mercury in tunas' and swordfishes' systems must come from natural sources. For years, we have probably eaten tuna and swordfish with mercury levels above FDA's limit without harmful effects. Analysis of museum specimens of tuna caught from 1879 to 1909 reveal that they contain levels of mercury as high as those in fish being caught today. Scientists therefore conclude that mercury levels in tuna, and probably swordfish, have not changed in the past 100 years." So, take that to your favorite "Scare Reporter!"


Beautiful Belinda's Barbs.....................................................................

I tried exercise as a means of burning fat, but it didn't work for me. When the fat started burning, it smelled like bacon and made me hungry.

Q: Do you know what's wrong with political jokes? A: They get elected

Youth would be an ideal state if it came a little later in life.

I'm trying to read a book on how to relax, but I keep falling asleep

I was reading a book...'the history of glue'-I couldn't put it down


Sarah's Selections............................

November is... Peanut Butter Lover's Month

This is National Far-City Week [Whatever that means]

November 19 is . . . . . Have A Bad Day Day

November 20 is . . . . . Absurdity Day [And not only here in Absurdistan]

November 20 is . . . . . Name Your PC Day [Now, be nice.....]

November 20 is . . . . . National Great American Smoke Out Day

November 21 is . . . . . False Confessions Day

November 21 is . . . . . World Hello Day

November 22 is . . . . .Start Your Own Country Day [Now there is an idea!]

November 23 is . . . . . National Cashew Day

November 24 is . . . . . Use Even If Seal Is Broken Day

November 25 is . . . . . National Parfait Day


Actual Headlines..................................


DON'T PHONE HOME, PHONE YOUR LAWYER: "Abducted by Aliens? Call Now for Compensation" -- Reuters headline

Lawsuit: SHOPPING CENTER AIDED ATTACKING SQUIRREL: Sun Times News Group Wire


Famous Last Words...............................

What do you mean, "I'll be back"?

Why is the rest of the Star Trek landing party wearing a different Color?

Pull the pin and count to what?

Which wire was I supposed to cut?

I wonder where the mother bear is?


That's it from your embedded reporter, here on the outskirts of the city of Absurdia, the capital city of The Democratic Peoples Republic of Absurdistan where we are only number three in the highest occurrence for Violent Crime among the states in 2005 but with the new boy Governor, we can aspire to a higher ranking soon.


And on the other hand..................

Opportunities are usually disguised as hard work, so most people don't recognize them.


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