December 22, 2006

Friday's Musings

Pushing Back the frontiers of Ignorance..........

The Supreme Court has ruled that there cannot be a nativity scene in Washington, D.C. this Christmas. This isn't for any religious constitutional reason.

They simply have not been able to find three wise men and a virgin in the Nation's capitol.

There was no problem however finding enough asses to fill the stable.


Merry Mary's Main Mutterings........................

Money's tight, times are hard - here is your damned Christmas Card

Santa is very jolly because he knows where all the bad girls live

It is sobering to consider that when Mozart was my age he'd already been dead for a year

It wasn't school John disliked, it was just the principal of it.

And remember... Any time you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90 per cent probability you'll get it wrong.


Sarah's Salacious Selections......................

December is... Hi Neighbor Month

This is Recipe Greetings For The Holidays Week

December 24 is . . . National Egg Nog Day

December 25 is . . . National Pumpkin Pie Day

December 26 is . . . Boxing Day

December 26 is . . . Kids Afer Christmas Day

December 26 is . . . National Whiners Day

December 27 is . . . National Fruitcake Day [At last a day of my own]

December 27 is . . . Make Cut Out Snowflakes Day

December 28 is . . . National Chocolate Day [now I have your attention]

December 29 is . . . Pepper Pot Day

December 29 is . . . Tick Tock Day

December 30 is . . . Make Up Your Mind Day

December 30 is . . . Festival of Enormous Changes At The Last Minute Day

December 30 is . . . National Bicarbonate of Soda Day [Shouldn't that be Jan 1?]

December 31 is . . . Unlucky Day


Thoughts Of An Idle Mind......................

Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach that person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.

Some people are like Slinkies. Not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs.

Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.

Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder these days no one talks about seeing UFOs like they used to?

Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.


Famous Last Words.....................

Hey that's not a violin.

I'll just slip into the commuter lane for a second.

I don't think we're in Kansas anymore.

You wouldn't hit a guy with glasses on, would you?


Your embedded reporter here in Absurdia, the capital city of The Peoples Democratic Republic of Absurdistan want to wish you all A very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year while it is still legal.


No animals were harmed in the making of this email... but a few MAY have been tickled.


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