February 09, 2007
Pushing back the frontiers of ignorance..............
John Edwards still own hundreds of thousands of dollars from his failed 2004 campaign to small businesses - the very people he claims to protect. A multimillionaire ambulance chaser who won't pay his debts. Just what the Democrats need to lead their party!
Marvelous Mary's Maniacal Mutterings
Two roads diverged in a wood and I took the one less traveled by. And got lost!
I really want to have a date with the woman I work next to at the suicide hotline, but every time I mention it, she talks me out of it.
A pessimist's blood type is always b-negative.
Practice safe eating - always use condiments.
Shotgun wedding: A case of wife or death.
Sarah's Salacious Sayings
February is National Blah Buster Month
This is Cardiac Rehabilitation Week [As a result of rebuffs on Valentines Day]
February 11 is. . . Be Electrific Day
February 11 is. . . Satisfied Staying Single Day
February 12 is. . . Lost Penny Day
February 13 is. . . Get A Different Name Day [Marriage is an option?]
February 14 is. . . Ferris Wheel Day
February 14 is. . . National Have a Heart Day
February 14 is. . . Romance & Remembrance Day
February 15 is. . . National "I Want Butterscotch" Day
February 15 is. . . National Sea Monkey Day [At last!]
February 16 is. . . Do A Grouch A Favor Day [Besides, you owe me!!!!]
February 17 is. . . Champion Crab Races Day
February 17 is. . . My Way Day [I wait all year for this day]
Live from New York, It's Jeni.............
Don't let your worries get the best of you; remember Moses started out as a basket case.
The good Lord didn't create anything without a purpose, but mosquitoes come close.
Actual Headlines .......................
IF AT FIRST YOU DON'T SUCCEED, TRY, TRY, TRY, TRY AND TRY AGAIN: "Law & Disorder: Woman, 38, Charged in Hit, Hit, Hit, Hit, Hit, Run" -- Jacksonville (Fla.) Times-Union headline
Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures [who would have thought!]
Enfield (London) Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide [they may be on to something!]
Have you ever noticed ..................
Birds of a feather flock together and crap on your car.
When I'm feeling down, I like to whistle. It makes the neighbor's dog run to the end of his chain and gag himself.
If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.
Don't assume malice for what stupidity can explain.
A penny saved is a government oversight.
That's it this week from your embedded reporter, skulking on the outskirts of Absurdia, the capital of The Peoples Democratic Republic of Absurdistan.
And on the other hand ......................
It is not easy to find happiness in ourselves and it is not possible to find it elsewhere.
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