February 23, 2007

Friday's Musings!

Pushing back the frontiers of ignorance.......................

The most ineffective government employee? Rep. John Murtha, (PA) after 16 undistinguished terms (that's 32 YEARS!) in Congress finally got his 15 minutes of fame by endangering our troops in Iraq and then pushing for "the non-binding resolution" (and have you ever heard that term before this session?) and having it fail. Another undistinguished event!

Don't forget that Wednesday 2/28 is the anniversary of the date in 1993 that our indicted former president, Bill Clinton and Janet Reno fired on and killed all those women & children in Waco for their religious beliefs - and for that reason only!


Marvelous Mary's Mediocre Mutterings ......................................

You can say what you want about the South, but I ain't never heeard of nobody retirin' to the North

If electricity comes from electrons... does that mean that morality comes from morons?

Marriage is the mourning after the knot before.

Sea captains don't like crew cuts.

Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?


Stupendous Sarah's Salacious Sayings .......................

March is National Peanut Month

This is "But Laughter Keeps Us From Getting Dizzy Week"

February 26 is. . . For Pete's Sake Day [When is For Crying Out Loud Day?]

February 27 is. . . International Polar Bear Day

February 28 is. . . Public Sleeping Day

February 29 is. . . National Surf and Turf Day

March 1 is . . National Pig Day

March 1 is . . Peanut Butter Lover's Day

March 2 is . . Namesake Day

March 2 is . . Old Stuff Day

March 3 is . . I Want You To Be Happy Day [And good luck with that idea]

March 3 is . . What If Cats and Dogs Had Opposable Thumbs

March 3 is . . Peach Blossom Day


Actual Headlines.....................

Newspaper Headlines: They Ate the Forbidden Grass: "Sheep Moved From Paradise to Wyoming" ---Daily Inter Lake (Kalispell, MT)

ARE YOU KIDDING? THAT'S THE SOURCE OF THE FLAVOR: "E. Coli Could Hurt Taco Bell Sales" -- AP headline

Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead [I certainly hope so!]

Prostitutes Appeal to Pope


Did You Ever Wonder .................................

Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?

Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

What disease did cured ham actually have?

How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?


Did You Ever Notice ..................................

The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing at the right time, but also to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.

The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then your body and your fat have gotten to be really good friends.

The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.


That's it for this week from your embedded reporter, dodging the raindrops here in Absurdia, the capital city of The Peoples Democratic Republic of Absurdistan.


But, On The Other Hand ...............................

Feed your faith and your fears will starve to death.


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