Pushing back the frontiers of
The "esteemed" leader Nancy Pelosi has
named "Dollar Bill" Jefferson aka William Jefferson, Democrat, Louisiana now
under investigation for corruption (also for having thousands of dollars in his
freezer) and was caught on tape taking a bribe, to the Homeland Security
Committee. Just the person we need to handle our nations' security
Nancy Pelosi also named "Arab" John
Murtha to the Armed Services Committee. You may remember "Arab John" as
being an unindicted co-conspirator in the Abscam scandal. On the other
hand, (and on the other side of the aisle) you may also recall "Crazy" John
McCain was the other unindicted co-conspirator in the Abscam
Marvelous Mary's Meanderings
Call me a cynic, but it seems whenever
someone is given the title "The World's Oldest Living Person," it's just a
matter of time.
When you dream in color, it's a pigment
of your imagination.
Reading whilst sunbathing makes you
When two egotists meet, it's an I for an
Unhappiness is not knowing what we want
and killing ourselves to get it.
Stupendous Sarah's Solecisms
March is National Lawnmower Tune-Up
This is National Toad Hollow
March 11 is . . Dream
Day [It's official, you can day dream today]
March 11 is . . Organize Your Home
March 11 is . . Johnny Appleseed Day
March 13 is. . Armstrong County (PA)
March 13 is . . National Open An
Umbrella Indoors Day
March 14 is . . National Potato Chip
March 15 is . . Buzzard's Day
March 15 is . . Everything You Think
Is Wrong Day [still time to change your
March 15 is . . True Confessions
March 15 is . . Buzzard's Day
March 16 is . . Lips Appreciation
March 16 is . . Everything You Do Is
Right Day [Now, that's my kind of day]
March 17 is . . St Patrick's
March 17 is . . Act Happy
Day [If you are not Irish]
March 17 is . . Submarine
Day [Go and watch a submarine race]
March 18 is . . Supreme Sacrifice
March 18 is . . Awkward Moments
Live from New York - it's Jeni
Fellow says to wife "I never want to live
in a vegetative state, dependent on some machine and fluids from a bottle. If
that ever happens, just pull the plug!" So the wife unplugged the TV and threw
out all the beer!
That Was Fast: "Democrats May Cut Bush
Military Budget"---Associated Press, March 1, 2:32 pm EST
++ "'Democrats Nix Idea of Military Budget Cuts"---Associated Press,
March 1, 3:07 pm EST
Maybe Al Gore Should Try This: "Snails
Save Energy by Re-Using Mucus Trails"---LiveScience.com
Thanks for the Advice, Sweetie: "Honey,
Root May Help Staph Infection"---Arizona Republic
That Sounds Painful!: "Inspector General
Says School That Uses Shock Therapy Overcharged"---Associated Press
Signs That Your Life Is About To
While watching the news, you spot your
spouse marching in a Gay Pride parade.
The bank notifies you that your paycheck
On a densely foggy morning, while driving
in the center lane of a highway, you suddenly run out of gas.
You arrive at your wedding to find,
two ushers, four bridesmaids, and six pallbearers.
Things I have learned
I've learned that you cannot make someone
love you. All you can do is stalk him and hope he panics and gives
I've learned that no matter how much I
care, some people are just jerks.
I've learned that it takes years to build
up trust, and it only takes suspicion, not proof, to destroy it.
I've learned that you shouldn't compare
yourself to others -they are more screwed up than you think.
That is it from your embedded reporter, hiding out along the
fringes of Absurdia, the capital city of the Peoples Democratic Republic of
But, on the other hand ................
The only place where success comes before work is in the dictionary