March 16, 2007

Friday's Musings

Pushing back the frontiers of ignorance............

Just for you Gorons (Gore + Moron) The truth is finally hitting the major news outlets.  "Just as Galileo and Einstein transcended the "consensus" of their day, so too will a growing body of scientific evidence eventually vindicate non-alarmist views on global warming, predicts environmental scientist Fred Singer.  In a new book he co-authored with Dennis Avery entitled "Unstoppable Global Warming: Every 1500 Years," Singer writes, "It is sheer fantasy to suggest that a huge number of scientists with expertise in global climate change endorse an alarming interpretation of the recent climate data."
Just in case you doubt the above.....  Everyone knows that there was an Ice Age.  What caused the warming that melted the glaciers.  Not many humans & SUV's around "back in that day."

Marvelous Mary's Magnificent Mutterings..........
Change is good. Especially when it's a change back to the way I liked it in the first place.
Benjamin Franklin could have invented electricity much easier by rubbing two cats together. 
The hell with Folgers. The best part of waking up is going back to sleep.
If a man who cannot count finds a four-leaf clover, is he lucky?
If life were fair, the amount of calories required to chew food would equal the amount within the food being chewed

Stupendous Sarah's Serendipitous Sayings................
March is International Mirth Month
This is National Spring Fever Week
March 18 is . . Supreme Sacrifice Day  

March 18 is . . Awkward Moments Day    [It's only awkward because you forgot Supreme Sacrifice Day]

March 18 is . . National Biodiesel Day    [Don't forget to feed your diesel!]

March 19 is . . Poultry Day

March 20 is . . Festival Of Extraterrestrial Abductions Day    [And, you know who you are]
March 20 is . . Great American Meat Out Day    [Eat a hamburger anyhow!]

March 20 is . . National Common Courtesy Day    [But, it is no longer common]

March 21 is . . Memory Day    [Don't forget this one!]

March 22 is . . As Young As You Feel Day    [Feel someone young?]

March 22 is . . National Goof-off Day  

March 23 is . . Near Miss Day    [I saw you on the beltway]

March 23 is . . National Organize Your Home Office Day

March 23 is . . National Chip and Dip Day
March 24 is . . National Chocolate Covered Raisins Day  
Actual Headlines...................................
Newspaper Headlines: Lock Up Your Daughters!: "Clinton Focuses on Women"
Stupid Is as Stupid Does: "Key Lawmakers Complain of Weak Intelligence" ---Washington Times
Good Thing It Was Phony: "Phony Pipe Bomb Exploded in Northeast Charlotte"---WSOC-TV Web site (Charlotte, NC)
We Think They'd Be Cooler if They Didn't: "Germans Are Cool to Call to Impose Autobahn Speed Limit" ---Day (New London, CT)
Things I Have Learned........................
I've learned that you can keep vomiting long after you think you're finished.
I've learned that we are responsible for what we do, unless we are celebrities.
I've learned that regardless of how hot and steamy a relationship is at first, the passion fades, and there had better be a lot of money to take its place.
I've learned that 99% of the time when something isn't working in your house, one of your kids did it.

Live From New York, It's Jeni.....................................
Larry LaPrise, the man who wrote "The Hokey Pokey", died peacefully at the age of 93.  The most traumatic part for his family was getting him into the coffin.  They put his left leg in... and then the trouble started.

Actual Want-Ads...................
FREE GERMAN SHEPHERD: 85 lbs. Neutered. Speaks German.
FOUND: Dirty White Dog. Looks like a Rat....been out awhile. Better be a reward for this NASTY little thing.
COWS, CALVES: Never Bred....Also, 1 Gay Bull For Sale.
NORDIC TRACK: $300 - Hardly used, call Chubby.
GEORGIA PEACHES: California grown - 89 cents lb.

That's it from your embedded reporter, hiding out in the fringes of Absurdia, the capital city of The Peoples Democratic Republic of Absurdistan.

But, On The Other Hand........................
Being happy doesn't mean everything's perfect. It means you've decided to see beyond the imperfections.
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