March 23, 2007

Friday's Musings

Pushing back the frontiers of ignorance ..........................

 
For you Gorons - The ice caps on Mars are receding!  Not too many SUV's and humans on Mars are there?  And "Al Gore has been challenged to an internationally televised debate on "climate change" by Lord Christopher Monckton"  I'll bet "Do as I say, not as I do") Gore ducks this one.  Just like he did the ruling that all testimony before Congress be submitted in writing, 48 hours before the testimony.  ( He knew the facts he was presenting were not facts)
Factoids to consider .......................................
 
The total death rate among our soldiers in Iraq is about 60 per 100,000. 
 
The fire arms death rate in Washington DC is 80.6 per 1000,000.   Maybe we should withdraw from Washington!
 
And, most important, since 2003 more Americans have been killed by illegal aliens than those killed in Iraq

Marvelous Mary's Mercurial Meanderings ...................................
 
I have decided to give up my diet for Lent
Creationists should not be allowed to burn fossil fuel.
 
I'm not laughing at you -- I'm laughing with my friends who are laughing at you.
 
I'm feeling a little guilty. Today was the first day of the rest of my life, and all I did was drink Old Milwaukee and watch the Cartoon Network.
My wife always makes a federal case out of everything, but that might be because my screw-ups usually cross multiple state boundaries.
And, a special congratulations to Mary - remember TGIF!
Stupendous Sarah's Salacious Sayings ..........................
 
March is National Foot Health Month  
March is also National On-Hold Month
 
This is National Spring Fever Week
 
March 25 is . . Waffle Day
March 25 is . . Pecan Day
 
March 26 is . . Make Up Your Own Holiday Day

March 26 is . . Spinach Festival Day    [Ooh Boy!]

March 27 is . . Education and Sharing Day    [Share your education?]

March 27 is . . National "Joe" Day 

March 28 is . . Something On A Stick Day  

March 29 is . . Festival Of Smoke and Mirrors Day    [A really big day in Congress!]

March 30 is . . I Am In Control Day    [Wanna bet?]

March 31 is . . Bunsen Burner Day

March 31 is . . National Clams On The Half Shell Day 
Actual Headlines .................................................
 
News You Can Use: "Contractors Shouldn't Take On More Work Than They Can Handle" ---Montgomery (AL) Advertiser
 
Yes, Brave Sir, Robin Turned About, and Gallantly He Chickened Out: "Anti-War Dems Ponder Bold Action on Iraq" ---Associated Press (Thanks to The Wall Street Journal's James Taranto)
 
Headlines: 'You Take Him!' 'No, You Take Him!': "Belgian Ministers Quarrel Over Al Gore" ---BrusselsJournal.com
 
Maybe Because a Lot of Them Don't Have Jobs?: "An economic mystery: Why do the poor seem to have more free time than the rich?" ---Slate Magazine

Live from New York, It's Jeni ..................................
 
I find that I get a lot of my best ideas when I'm watching PBS.  Like the other day, I was watching when they had this Peter, Paul & Mary concert and I got a *great* idea:  I've got to find a way to steal cable so I won't have to watch this crap.
 
When I was a kid, we bought an air conditioner to cope with the hot summer months.  After we bought it, the summer temperatures never got above 70.  Man, they just don't make 'em like they used to.

More Want Ads ..................................
 
JOINING NUDIST COLONY!: Must sell Washer & Dryer $300.
 
WEDDING DRESS FOR SALE: Worn ONCE by mistake. Call Stephanie - $300.
 
FOR SALE /BY OWNER: Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica. 45 volumes. Excellent condition. $1000 or Best Offer. No longer needed, got married last month. Wife knows everything.

Things I Have Learned ..............................
 
I've learned that the people you care most about in life are taken from you too soon, and all the less important ones just never go away.
 
I've learned that you cannot make someone love you.   All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in...
 
I've learned that one good turn gets most of the blankets.
 
I've learned that no matter how much I care, some people are just jackasses.

That's it from the fringes of the suburbs of Absurdia, the capital city of The People's Democratic Republic of Aburdistan.  Watch out for Senator Brian Frosh Democrat, District 16 who has a curious affection for child molesters and will not let "Jessica's Law" out of his committee. (Is there one in his family!)

But, on the other hand .........................
 
Anger is a condition in which the tongue works faster than the mind.

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