April 27, 2007

Pushing back the frontiers of ignorance ..........................

The lard-heads that we elected (and became instant experts in everything) have pinned their hopes on ethanol.  A new study out of Stanford says pollution from ethanol could end up creating a worse health hazard than gasoline, especially for people with asthma and other respiratory diseases.  And who of you readers either don't have those health issues or have someone in you family with them?

One of the head speakers for the "Surrender Monkeys" Harry Reid, says that we have lost the war.   Peace cannot be achieved through pretending that war does not exist   The main problem with pacifism is that it doesn't work in all situations. The main problem with pacifists is that they're convinced it does.


The pictures from our trip to Italy are up on the net.   Please take note of the Venice, Ravello, St. Peter's Basilica, Sistine Chapel pages.  Just click on http://www.a-1associates.com/Italy/index.htm 


Marvelous Mary's Meandering Mutterings .......................................
 
I have CDO. It's like Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, only in alphabetical order, like it should be.  
 
You know what they call the guy who finishes last in medical school? They call him "Doctor"
 
Q: What do you call a sausage that has been stolen?   A: A missing link.
 
Shrink-to-fit jeans are a great idea on paper. Unfortunately, my grow-to-fit butt works faster than they do.
 
As I stood in line screaming in terror while the cashier handed me two quarters, one dime and a nickel, I was hit with a sad realization: I was afraid of change!
 

Serendipitous Sarah's Stupendous Stutterings ....................................
 
April is still International Twit Award Month
 
April 29 is National Shrimp Scampi Day
 
April 30 is National Honesty Day
May 1 is . . Law Day
May 1 is also . . Mother Goose Day    [No coincidence there]

May 1 is . . Save The Rhino Day  

May 1 is . . National Bubba Day

May 1 is . . Save the Rhino Day

May 2 is . . Sibling Appreciation Day    [Oh yes, that will be a hit!]

May 2 is . . Fire Day    [Also known as Donald Trump day]

May 3 is . . Lumpy Rug Day

May 3 is . . Do Dah Day    Do dah, Do dah!]
May 4 is . . Relationship Renewal Day    [Re-cycle?]

May 4 is . . Kite Day

May 4 is . . National Candied Orange Peel Day

May 5 is . . National Hoagie Day    [Now this is a day I can celebrate!]

May 5 is . . Slow Down Day

May 5 is . . Totally Chipotle Day
Live from New York - It's Jeni .................................
 
The best time to make friends is before you need them

Actual Headlines ...........................
 
Don't Take Investment Advice From This Guy: "John Edwards: I'd Invest Billions in Michigan" ---Detroit Free Press      "Michigan's State Budget Problems Among Nation's Worst" ---Associated Press
 
That's a Groovy Missile Plan, Comrade: "Gates Gets Cool Russian Response Over Missile Plan" ---Reuters
 
Isn't This an Invidious Stereotype?: "Lipscomb Fees for Trailer-Park Trash Will Not Increase" ---Birmingham (AL) News
 
'The Ruffles on the Door and the Flower-Box Dividers Are Just Perfect': "Plan for Female Inmate Stalls" ---The Los Angeles Times
 
News You Can Use: "The Solution You Didn't Think You Needed for the Problem You Didn't Know You Had" ---Plain Dealer (Cleveland)
Actual Song Titles .............................

How Can I Miss You if You Won't Go Away?  
 
How Did You Get so Ugly Overnight?  
  
I Flushed You From The Toilets Of My Heart  
 
I Wanna Whip Your Cow  
 
And my all time favorite - You're The Reason Our Kids Are So Ugly  
Factoids you need to know ........................
 
If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee.  Hardly seems worth it.)
 
If you farted consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb.   (Now that's more like it!)
 
The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to squirt blood 30 feet.  (I don't believe this either!)
Well, that's about it for this week from your embedded reporter, hiding in the outskirts of Absurdia, the capital city of The Peoples Democratic Republic of Absurdistan where the ruling party continues to have it's major legislation overturned in the courts on an almost weekly basis.
But, on the other hand .............................
 
Enjoyment is not a goal. It is a feeling that accompanies important ongoing activity.
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