May 11,2007

Pushing back the frontiers of ignorance ..............................

 
The arrest of six foreign-born Muslims accused of plotting to attack Fort Dix, N.J., should stop the Senate from producing an immigration bill that includes a "pathway to citizenship" or any other let-them-stay-here program.  Three of the Islamic radicals arrested in New Jersey were illegal aliens - just members of that "peaceful" religion.

Marvelous Mary's Moments .........................
 
I love "Date Night" with my husband.  The way I see it, if we stay married, it's a beautiful romantic gesture. If we don't, it's good practice
 
Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity!
 
I have only one question about the Kyoto Accord:    How many miles per gallon does it get?
 
My luck is so bad that if I bought a cemetery, people would stop dying.
 
The cardiologist's diet: If it tastes good, spit it out.

Serendipitous Sarah's Sayings .....................
 
May is More Than Just A Pretty Face Month
 
This is Pickle Week
 
May 13 is . . Leprechaun Day

May 14 is . . National Dance Like A Chicken Day   [One of my favorites]


May 14 is . . Underground America Day

May 15 is . . National Chocolate Chip Day    [I can get in the mood for this one!]

May 16 is . . National Bike to Work Day    [just try to dodge the buses & trucks]

May 17 is . . Pack Rat Day

May 18 is . . Neighbor Day

May 18 is . . Visit Your Relatives Day

May 19 is . . May Ray Day    [don't know what that means but sounds like fun]

May 19 is . . Frog Jumping Jubilee Day

Live from New York, It's Jeni ...........................
 
As daily affirmations go, maybe my "Oh, what's the use of even trying?" could use a little fine tuning.
 
A bird does not sing because it has an answer; it sings because it has a song. 
Actual Headlines ..............................
 
TAKE A BITE OUT OF CRIME: "Palm Beach County Man Arrested for Making False Teeth Without a License" -- South Florida Sun-Sentinel headline

WIN SOME, LOSE SOME: "Global Warming Rally Cut Short by Cold Weather" --  AP headline; "Rain Cancels Drought Advisory Council Meeting" -- AP headline later the same week

HOW ENTICING: "[Houston Independent School District] Hopes Offer of Bonuses Earlier Entices New Hires" -- Houston (Texas) Chronicle headline; "99 Teachers Told to Repay Part of Bonus; HISD Blames a Computer Glitch for Overpayments" -- Houston Chronicle headline, four days later

"Grape-Thrower Misfires at School Board Meeting" ---Detroit Free Press
 
The French are Royal Butt Heads: "Sarkozy, Royal Butt Heads in 'Bad-Tempered' Debate" ---Agence France-Presse
A few puns from the punster ...............
 
A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm, and says "A beer please, and one for the road."
 
Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: "Does this taste funny to you?"
 
"Doc, I can't stop singing 'The Green, Green Grass of Home." "That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome." "Is it common?" Well, "It's Not Unusual."  (For you Tom Jones fans)
 
Two cows are standing next to each other in a field. Daisy says to Dolly, "I was artificially inseminated this morning." "I don't believe you," says Dolly. "It's true; no bull!" exclaims Daisy.
That's it for this week from your embedded reporter here on the outskirts of Absurdia, the capital city of The Peoples Democratic Republic of Absurdistan

But on the other hand ......................
 
When people stop believing in God, they don't believe in nothing---they believe in anything

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