Pushing back the frontiers of ignorance
The arrest of six foreign-born Muslims accused
of plotting to attack Fort Dix, N.J., should stop the Senate from producing an
immigration bill that includes a "pathway to citizenship" or any other
let-them-stay-here program. Three of the Islamic radicals arrested in New
Jersey were illegal aliens - just members of that "peaceful"
Marvelous Mary's Moments
I love "Date Night" with my
husband. The way I see it, if we stay married, it's a beautiful romantic
gesture. If we don't, it's good practice
Artificial intelligence is no match for
I have only one question about the Kyoto
Accord: How many miles per gallon does it get?
My luck is so bad that if I bought a
cemetery, people would stop dying.
The cardiologist's diet: If it tastes
good, spit it out.
Serendipitous Sarah's Sayings .....................
May is More Than Just A Pretty Face Month
This is Pickle Week
May 13 is . . Leprechaun Day
May 14 is . . National Dance Like A Chicken
Day [One of my favorites]
May 14 is . . Underground America Day
May 15 is . . National Chocolate Chip Day [I can get
in the mood for this one!]
May 16 is . . National Bike to Work Day [just try to
dodge the buses & trucks]
May 17 is . . Pack Rat Day
May 18 is . . Neighbor Day
May 18 is . . Visit Your Relatives Day
May 19 is . . May Ray Day [don't know what that means
but sounds like fun]
May 19 is . . Frog Jumping Jubilee Day
Live from New York, It's Jeni
As daily affirmations go, maybe my "Oh, what's the use of even trying?"
could use a little fine tuning.
A bird does not sing because it has an answer; it sings because it has a
Actual Headlines ..............................
TAKE A BITE OUT OF CRIME: "Palm Beach County Man Arrested for Making False
Teeth Without a License" -- South Florida Sun-Sentinel headline
WIN SOME, LOSE SOME: "Global Warming Rally Cut Short by Cold Weather"
-- AP headline; "Rain Cancels Drought Advisory Council Meeting" -- AP
headline later the same week
HOW ENTICING: "[Houston Independent School District] Hopes Offer
of Bonuses Earlier Entices New Hires" -- Houston (Texas) Chronicle
headline; "99 Teachers Told to Repay Part of Bonus; HISD Blames a Computer
Glitch for Overpayments" -- Houston Chronicle headline, four days later
"Grape-Thrower Misfires at School Board Meeting" ---Detroit Free Press
The French are Royal Butt Heads: "Sarkozy, Royal Butt Heads in
'Bad-Tempered' Debate" ---Agence France-Presse
A few puns from the punster ...............
A man walks into a bar with a slab of
asphalt under his arm, and says "A beer please, and one for the road."
Two cannibals are eating a clown. One
says to the other: "Does this taste funny to you?"
"Doc, I can't stop singing 'The Green,
Green Grass of Home." "That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome." "Is it common?"
Well, "It's Not Unusual." (For you Tom Jones fans)
Two cows are standing next to each other
in a field. Daisy says to Dolly, "I was artificially inseminated this morning."
"I don't believe you," says Dolly. "It's true; no bull!" exclaims Daisy.
That's it for this week from your
embedded reporter here on the outskirts of Absurdia, the capital city of The
Peoples Democratic Republic of Absurdistan
But on the other hand ......................
When people stop believing in God, they don't believe in nothing---they
believe in anything
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