July 13, 2007

Pushing back the frontiers of ignorance ......................

 
The "cut and run" crowd, now known as the National Socialist Party are in full high dudgeon this week as they head down the yellow streak road.
 
We can safely equate President George W Bush with that sorry excuse for a human being - Mike Nifong - who was willing to ruin the lives of a number of Duke lacrosse players just to be re-elected because the President attacked his supporters for raising enough hell to defeat the immigration/amnesty bill.
 
Rumors of the President's stupidity are again rampant because he didn't learn his lesson when he let the murderer of Mary Jo Kapekne, Teddy Kennedy, write the "No child left behind" bill and then let him write the Immigration bill.

Miss Mary's Marvelous Mutterings .....................
 
It's graduation time in Absurdia and many of the students here are honor students. Yes your honor, no your honor, not guilty your honor
 
I told you I would destroy the statue of the golden calf, but you thought I was just making idol threats.
 
I'm all for gun control.  My hands usually get so shaky I'm firing all over the place.
 
What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?   A feminist who won't do what she's told.  
 
It was different when we were kids. In second grade, a teacher came in and gave us all a lecture about not smoking, and then they sent us over to arts and crafts to make ash-trays for Mother's Day
Sappy Sarah's Soppy Sayings ..................................
 
July is Read An Almanac Month
 
July is also Anti-Boredom Month  (are the two a coincidence?)
 
This is National Hermit's Week
 
July 15 is . . . . . National Tapioca Pudding Day
July 15 is . . . . . Respect Canada Day    (Just for Nick!)

July 16 is . . . . . International Juggling Day

July 12 is . . . . . Stewarts Root Beer Day    [Are they still around?]

July 17 is . . . . . National Peach Ice Cream Day

July 18 is . . . . . National Caviar Day    [eat those fish eggs!]

July 18 is . . . . . National Splurge Day    [let's go shopping at the Ferrari store]

July 18 is . . . . . International Panic Day 

July 19 is . . . . . Flitch Day

July 19 is . . . . . World Sauntering Day

July 19 is . . . . . Cow Appreciation Day

July 20 is . . . . . Ugly Truck Contest Day

July 20 is . . . . . National Ice Cream Day

July 20 is . . . . . Take Your Dog To Work Day

July 20 is . . . . . Toad Hollow Day of Thank You

July 21 is . . . . . Join Hands Day    [to what?]

June 21 is . . . . . Cuckoo Warning Day  

July 21 is . . . . . Pick Up Some Litter Day

July 21 is . . . . . Vegan World Day    [you know who you are]

July 21 is . . . . . National Tug-Of-War Tournament Day

Actual Real Headlines ...........................
 
JUST HOW DRUNK DOES ONE HAVE TO BE TO...: "Man Mistakes Straw Bale for Stricken Woman, Gives it CPR" -- Hilton Head (S.C.) Island Packet  headline  [I knew a girl like that once]
 
Just Ask John Kerry: "Trouble Afoot With Flip-Flops" ---USA Today
 
Most Likely Eating: "Obese Young Americans Doing Something" ---KLTV Web site (Tyler, TX)
 
That's Easy for You to Say!: "I Enjoy My Summertime Colle" ---Ann Arbor (MI) News
 
Or, 'A Suicide Succeeds': "An Attempted Suicide Turns Deadly" ---KOLD-TV Web site (Tucson, AZ)
 
YOU'RE IN A HEAP OF TROUBLE, GIRL: "Text-Messaging Driver Hits Parked Patrol Car" -- Arizona Republic headline
 
Take My Wife. Please!: "Romney: Wife Donated to Pro-Choice Group" ---TownHall.com

You may have heard of Al Gore's "Let's all ride in private jets" concert ...................
 
Here are some of the songs that were featured:
 
The Heat Goes On
 
Helter Swelter
 
Whole Lotta Bakin' Goin' On
 
Sun, Sun, Sun
 
I Still Haven't Found What I'm Cooking For
 
Sympathy From the Devil
 
Help Me (I Think I'm Scalding)
 
Please Prius Me
 
She Blinded Me With Liberal-Biased Pseudo-Science
 
Goodbye Yellow-Specked Toad
 
Gore So Vain
 
Toasty the Snowman
 
Message in a 100% Post-Consumer Content Recycled ($0.05 deposit in ME) Bottle
 
I Melt With You (and Six Billion Others)
 
Burn in the USA
 
And Then I Blister
 
Everybody Wants to Cool the World
 
and the Number 1 Song Heard ...

Papa's Got a Brand New Handmade Reusable Hemp-Based Tote Bag

Can't top that so that will be all from your embedded reporter, lurking around Absurdia, the crime capital of The People's Republic of Absurdistan

But, on the other hand ..........................
 
Whenever you feel that something as simple as a smile or a kind act will go unnoticed, do it anyway. You never know how much it might change someone else's life.
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