August 3, 2007

Pushing back the frontiers of ignorance .....................

 
"Here is the most important thing Americans need to understand: We are finally getting somewhere in Iraq, at least in military terms.  As two analysts who have harshly criticized the Bush administration's miserable handling of Iraq, we were surprised by the gains we saw and the potential to produce not necessarily 'victory' but a sustainable stability that both we and the Iraqis could live with."  ---Michael O'Hanlon and Kenneth Pollack of the Brookings Institution and no fans of President Bush, recently returned from Iraq and writing in The New York Times
 
The truth comes out: "That would be a real big problem for us, no question about that." ---Rep. James Clyburn on how good news regarding the surge in Iraq would be bad for Democrats **America first, anyone?
 
It ain't easy being green: "The eventual construction of this barrier would place at risk the various ecosystems that we share." ---Mexico's Environment Minister Juan Rafael Elvira, opposing the border security fence along the U.S. southern perimeter.
 
The little tiff between Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton has really heated up since their last argument at the last Democratic debate. They have become distant. They barely speak to each other now. When they do speak, it's really icy. As Hillary calls that, "marriage."

Marvelous Mary's Maudlin Mutterings .........................
 
If every person in the world would help just one other person, what a beautiful world this would be. Especially if that person everybody helped was me.
 
A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.
 
Women constantly chide men about their lack of commitment, but when she swears she'll never speak to me again, it barely last three days!
 
I just came to the realization that I have a morbid fear of overly processed chocolate snack foods.  I guess that makes me hohophobic.
 
Researchers at Johns Hopkins University are predicting that 75 percent of Americans will be overweight by the year 2015. But my fellow Americans, with a little team work, I think we can do it by 2010. USA! USA!"

Super Sarah's Soporific Sayings ...........................
 
This is National Get Acquainted with Zespri New Zealand Month
 
This is National Elvis Week
 
This is also National Psychic Week
 
August 5 is...National Mustard Day    [Want a hot dog with that?]
 
August 6 is...Wiggle Your Toes Day  
 
August 7 is...Sea Serpent Day  
 
August 8 is...Sneak Zucchini Onto Your Neighbor's Porch Night  
 
August 8 is...Admit You're Happy Day    [Stop global whining!]
 
August 8 is...Kool-Aid Day
 
August 8 is...Work Like A Dog Day
 
August 9 is...International Single-Out Day
 
August 9 is...National Garage Sale Day    [You don't really need that garage, do you?]
 
August 9 is...National Polka Festival Day
 
August 9 is...Veep Day
 
August 10 is...Lazy Day 
 
August 10 is...National Underwear Day    [time for a change?]
 
August 10 is...National Duran Duran Appreciation Day
 
August 10 is...Spoil Your Dog Day

Actual Headlines ........................
 
BEATS THE ALTERNATIVE: "Toronto's Population Ages" -- Canadian Press headline
 
Isn't That What Got Him in Trouble Before?: "Clinton Focuses on Female Bonding" ---USA Today
 
Because It's So Hard to Get Them to Reproduce on Their Own: "China Claims a First With Cloned Rabbit" ---Reuters
 
Almost Certainly Money: "What Do Lamar County Schools Spend?" ---Paris (TX) News
 
With Friends Like These...: "Man Cuts Up Friend's Body, Stuffs It Into Barrel"---(Minneapolis) Star Tribune
 
What Would Lohan Do Without Experts?: "Experts Urge Lohan to Seek Rehab"---Associated Press  ++  
 
Ditto! "Experts: Lohan, Spears Making Mockery of Rehab"---Reuters
 
News You Can Use: "O'Connor: Educate Youth About Government" ---Associated Press

Live from New York (for the last time) it's Jeni ......................................
 
A truly happy person is one who can enjoy the scenery even on a detour.
 
Mile by mile, it's a trial.  Yard by yard, it's hard.  But inch by inch, it's a cinch.
 
"Instead of telling God how big your fears are, start telling your fears how big your God is."
 
"What other people think of me is none of my business."

Not everybody has a way with a saying ................
 
"He'd give you the arm off his back."
 
Announcement in store: "We have a customer by the balls in toys needing assistance." (It repeats.)
 
"You play ball with me, and I'll scratch yours."
 
"It's half of one, six dozen of another..."
 
"We do not have a smoking cow at this point."
Pardon my pun ..........................
 
Phil and Will built a skating rink in the middle of a pasture. One day a shepherd leading his flock decided to take a shortcut across the rink.  The sheep, however, were afraid of the ice and wouldn't cross it.  Desperate, the shepherd began tugging them to the other side. "Look at that," remarked Phil to Will. "That guy is trying to pull the wool over our ice!"
News from Absurdia, the capital city of The People's Republic of Absurdistan ..............
 
A recent study says that "driving while fat" is causing us to burn a billion more gallons of gasoline than we did in 1960.  But, as the fat guy - Al Gore - says:  "That truth is just plain inconvenient!"
 
And your embedded reporter says "That's it for this week"
But, on the other hand ................
 
Success: It's what you do with what you've got.