August 17, 2007

Pushing back the frontiers of ignorance ...................

Those elected slicksters on both sides of the aisle want us to move into government run health care. Most want the Canadian version. The following are AVERAGE wait times between diagnosis and treatment in Canada.

Plastic surgery ----------------- 35.4 weeks

Gynecology --------------------- 14.3 weeks

Ophthalmology ----------------- 27.2 weeks

Otolaryngology ---------------- 17.2 weeks

General surgery --------------- 10.1 weeks

Neurosurgery ----------------- 31.7 weeks

Orthopedic Surgery ----------- 40.3 weeks

Cardiovascular Surgery ------- 8 weeks

Urology ----------------------- 11.5 weeks

Internal Medicine ------------- 11.5 weeks

Radiation oncology ------------ 5 weeks

Medical oncology --------------4.9 weeks

*Source: Fraser Institute, "Waiting Your Turn" May 8,2007

Oh yes, let's jump into this scheme very quickly!  BTW Canadian officials are looking to take part of the scheme private, just like it used to be.......

Do you know where your President is............... On August 20-21, in Montebello, Quebec, secure behind a 15-mile cordon,  the leaders of America, Mexico, and Canada will meet to further discuss  the Security and Prosperity Partnership (SPP) and, no doubt, the  Trans-Texas Corridor (TTC). Selling out America!


Marvelous Mary's Melodious Meanderings ........................

I am a deeply superficial person In hindsight, holding a ticker-tape parade to honor our city's street  cleaning crew was probably a bad idea.

Some folks are wise and some are otherwise  My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met."

"I feel sorry for short people, you know. When it rains, they're the last to know.


Sappy Sarah's Salacious Sayings .....................

August is National Water Quality Month & National Catfish Month  [Could that be because there are catfish in our water?]

This is National Weird Contest Week

August 19 is...Aviation Day

August 19 is...Potato Day

August 20 is...National Radio Day

August 20 is...National Forgiveness Day

August 21 is...Poets Day

August 21 is...Be An Angel Day

August 21 is...National Spumoni Day

August 22 is...Makah Days

August 23 is...National Spongecake Day

August 24 is...Knife Day

August 25 is...Kiss-And-Make-Up Day


Precious Patricia's Ponderable Puns  ............................................

A fellow and his wife living in Houston, Texas, where the people are all  patriots, were blessed with the birth of twins. Two identical girls.  These twins were born on the Fourth of July and the father, being  patriotic, said to his wife, "We will name them Liberty and Justice,  after the pledge of allegiance "His wife said, "Are you nuts? You can't have girls going through life with names like Liberty and Justice. We are going to name them regular  girl names, like Mary or Jane."Well, the argument went on for about a month, when a compromise was reached. They would each name one of the girls. The man chose Liberty and the wife picked Elizabeth.  Finally, when they were about 18, a young man took interest in them. He would take one out on a date, but he was never sure which one he was with.  He decided he would marry at least one of them, but he wasn't sure which one he would marry.   He went to the girls' father and explained his quandary. "I love your daughters and want to marry one of them, but I can't tell  them apart, so I will leave it up to you. Give me Liberty or give me  Beth."


Actual Headlines ................................................

THERE OUGHT TO BE AN ORDNANCE AGAINST BAD PUNS: "Cannon Thief Was Gunning for Trouble" -- Kingston (N.Y.) Daily Freeman headline

Breaking News From 1789: "Americans Face Earliest Race for President in History" ---Independent (London)

Breaking News From 1920: "Candidates Seek Opposite Gender's Votes"  ---Associated Press

Bad News for the Handicapped: "No Excuse for Using Handicapped Parking"  ---Hattiesburg (MS) American

'I Did Not Have Sexual Relations': "Bill's Loophole Upsets Abstinence Program Backers" ---The Washington Times

Shouldn't They Have Gone to School Before Becoming Teachers?: "Dodd Announces K-12 Education Plan for NH Teachers" ---Associated Press

News You Can Use: "Keep Poop Out of Pools, Residents Told" ---Daily  Herald (Provo, UT)


Signs you may see around your office ..................

I have not yet begun to procrastinate.

I don't suffer from stress. I'm just a carrier.

Tell me what you need, and I'll tell you how to get along without it.

Someday we'll look back on all this and plow into a parked car.


Not everyone has a way with a saying ....................

"If Dad were here right now, he'd be rolling over in his grave."

"Well, it may be the wrong tool for the job, but it is the right tool for the business."

"It's our golden goose. We better figure out how to make her purr."


That's it this week from your embedded reporter, constantly amazed in Absurdia, the capital of The People's Democratic Republic of  Absurdistan. Where, the boy Governor, Martin O'Malley's who lives in  the State Capital, Annapolis, with his wife and kids. His wife is a sitting judge in the city of Baltimore. The Maryland state constitution states rather clearly that a judge must reside in the same jurisdiction as his court. However, the Attorney General, Mrs. O'Malley's father,  states " That is not a legal problem in that they intend to move back to  the City of Baltimore some day." And you wonder why I call this state  Absurdistan............


But, on the other hand .......................

The self is not something that one finds. It is something that one creates